How to go out during exams and probably still get a 2:1

It’s still Exam Time, you might not finish for a little while, but chances are some of your friends have already finished and are going out to celebrate. Chances also are, if you still have exams, you’re FOMO-ing massively.

But here’s the good news: it is possible to not be boring, go out, have fun, and still good a decent amount of revision in the next day. And no, this is not advocating going clubbing sober.

If this is you the next day then you’ve done something wrong

Preparation

First things first: do not under ANY circumstances take out your debit or, heaven forbid, credit card. Plan out how many drinks you can buy at the bar without getting outrageously drunk and just take out that much cash.

Also prepare yourself a snack for when you get home- maybe a sandwich, or if you’re a health freak as well as a geek then you can leave out some hummus and carrot sticks, or whatever it is that healthy people snack on.

Pre-drinks

It’s all going to go downhill from here, isn’t it

Time to make the biggest decision of your life: picking your poison for your night.

Mixing booze causes the worst hangovers, so stick with whatever you’re buying for the rest of the night. Think ahead to where you’re going though- if you’re going to be on the double vodkas all night then it’s not advisable to spend 2 hours beforehand drinking wine.

Overdo it at pre drinks and you’re scuppered. If you’re already mashed when you get to the club then you’ll probably forget that you were trying to avoid a hangover and be a productive member of society the next day, and you might as well have mixed drinks to your heart’s content.

At da club

You know when you’re thinking about your ex, or that person you’ve only just started dating and you really like, and when you get past a certain point on a night out you always end up texting them and making a complete tit out of yourself because they were on your mind?

This would classify as too many drinks

Use that part of your brain that clings onto such things when you’re drunk and drill into your brain to order water with every drink you buy – trust me on this, a glass of water with every drink doesn’t lessen your drunken funtimes and will probably significantly lessen your hangover the next day.

Leaving da club

If the club is likely to close at 2:30am then there’s probably no harm in staying until the end of the night and you’re still likely to get a decent night’s sleep and wake up early enough to get a good revision sesh in.

Cabs are a waste of time and money – burn off the booze and clear your head by running home instead, and then you can reward yourself by eating that snack that you so prudently prepared for yourself earlier.

Step one: make it home without napping on the way

Pulling

What’s the point in going out if you’re not there to pull, you cry. Try and have fun without the possibility of sex at the end of it, and if you must then you can have a cheeky kiss on the d floor, because of the most important rules of your night is to stay celibate and go home alone.

Going back with that hot stranger from the club seems like such a good idea in your horny drunken state. Sex and clubbing go together like essays and pro plus, but if anything is going to make you be unproductive the next day, it’s going to be this tempting hurdle.

They’re not getting any work done tomorrow

Think about it: the most likely disappointing drunken fumble will probably last a while, meaning you get to sleep incredibly late, you’ll probably forget the golden rule of lessening a hangover, fail to drink any water, and have a terrible night’s sleep sharing your bed with a stranger who kicks you in their vivid dreams.

This also includes those regrettable texts asking your ex to “comd ober”.

Food

It seemed like such a good idea at the time

Oh cheesy chips, you temptress, you. As we all know, greasy drunk food is delicious and wonderful yet wallet-draining, and you’ll probably waste a considerable amount of time on it. In the time spent waiting for your food, eating it, and chatting to the lovely staff as well as that one guy who lived down the hall from you in freshers and who you absolutely must use that very moment to catch up with, you could probably be at home and in bed.

Instead, have a slice or two of toast when you’re home, and that will probably be better for your hangover than the meaty, cheesy and saturates-filled kebab or chips that you would’ve spent four quid on anyway.

The next morning

Don’t get too ambitious and try to wake up crazy early. Aim to have 7 or 8 hours’ sleep, have a big breakfast when you wake up and aim to leave for library or a study area straight away- if you spend too long on a comfy sofa you might regret your decision to be productive, and that’s  just a waste if you’ve made it this far.

But then again, you might not care about exams and go out and get relentlessly drunk anyway, and if that’s the case, then hats off to you, brave soul.

But don’t forget – if you’re a fresher, then put the books down, get out of the library, and not a second more of your first year freedom should be wasted on actual studying.