What trends will make a come back in 2017?

2016 was a year of mum jeans, dungarees and chokers, chokers, chokers everywhere. We saw the backpack replace the tote bag, scrunchies replace hair bands, and Adidas shell suits become standard club wear. The nineties made a comeback, and they made it hard.

So what can we expect to see in 2017? Surely we already exhausted nineties trends to the max in 2016?

The answer? Roll on a noughties revival. We’re talking, spice girls up-do’s, embroidered denim that looks uncomfortably like what you wore when you were 10 years old, and that hat Kiera Knightly wore in Love Actually. Think Britney and teenage Justin Timberlake. Now channel that vibe. Team with some corduroy flares, and you’re all set.

Recently there has been an overwhelming surge of ’00s fashion trends making a come back. Are they ironic? I’m not even sure anymore.

Some of them are pretty okay, in a nostalgic, aw I remember those, kind of way. But some of them are undeniably so damn hideous that lets hope 2017 doesn’t just see their rise, but also their fall. Their fall far, far down into the black hole of eye-watering fashion catastrophes.

The trends we prayed were in the grave for eternity are poised to make a grand revival, and it’s a tad scary. So let’s prepare ourselves as much as possible.

Here are a few pre-2010 fashion come-backs that seem to actually be, well, happening.

Very Very Cropped Crop Tops

Blindingly sparkly, totally sequinned and highly embellished if possible. Preferably halter neck.

Low Rise Jeans

Otherwise known as ‘bumsters’ or ‘hipsters’. Get that belly piercing out. Don’t let them fall so low that they give you a builder’s bum.

Velour tracksuit

Juicy Couture, I’m looking at you. And zip-up hoodies are just not meant to be that skin-tight.

Shrugs

No, this isn’t my attempt to be funny and sarcastic and write out my body language. *Rolls eyes*. It was genuinely an item of clothing that people wore. Is it a cardigan? Is it a jumper? Is it a scarf? Who knows.

Combat/Cargo Trousers

The bigger the pocket-to-trouser ratio, the better. Especially if they’re in camouflage. One plus side of these is you don’t need to bring a handbag. What else would all those pockets be for?

Very Very Mini Skirts

This one is just so extremely versatile. Try in tartan or denim, pleated or ruffled. Add a really wide and really unnecessary belt to top it off.

Temporary Tattoos

Only butterflies allowed. Partially rubbed off is the best look.

Really Tiny Handbags

Will just about fit a chihuahua and a Lancôme Juicy Tube lip gloss.

Denim

Embroidered denim, denim with felt accessories sewn on, embellished denim, sequinned denim, denim hats, denim mini skirt, denim full-length skirts, denim-on-denim, co-ordinated denim outfits with your partner, denim flares. You name it, but in denim.

Von Dutch Caps

Worn by celebs everywhere we turned, the trucker hat trend thankfully vanished within the space of 12 months back in 2003, and hopefully will again.

News Boy Caps / Baker Boy Caps

I’m not sure what the actual name for these even is, but clearly tattered Ralphie ones just aren’t enough anymore. Prize if you can find one that’s knitted, all denim, or with a nice, big felt flower on it.

Lace-Up Trousers

Because we needed another kind of trousers to adequately show of our bums/bellys/underwear in the 00’s, and we do again now. Apparently.

Polo Shirts with Popped Collars

Down, boy. Down.

It’s not just Kylie Jenner and Gigi Hadid. There are a number of genuinely cool/quite Instagram famous people dusting off the above and leaping into this noughties come back all guns blazing.

But I’m fairly sure that for once, we shouldn’t follow them.