Having a birthday during exam season is absolute rubbish

We’ve all been sufferers of exam season. It’s not good for any sane person.

But take a moment and think about the good times in your life. The times that relieve you from the stress of exams. Chances are you’re either thinking of a holiday or a night out. Maybe your birthday night out? Well, stop being so selfish.

As a May baby, I can personally vouch that birthdays are absolute dog shite.

For starters, you have to revise on your birthday.

Think about it. It’s your birthday, you want to celebrate. You’re showered with prezzies of champers and voddy and you’re like, “hell yeah. This is going to be a cheap night.” And then you look at your timetable: you have two essays due in and an exam the next day.

And what’s worse, all your friends do too.

I should be used to it by now.  Every birthday from the age of 16 has had to be pretty tame because I’d either be celebrating on my own or I’d be sat in a mountain of past papers. And I think, “maybe next year will be better.” But it won’t. Because I still have exams.

My 21st will be spent freaking out over my dissertation. So, even when I inevitably feel like screwing it and celebrating anyway, all my mates will be freaking out over dissertations and final exams of uni. This is the injustice of having an exam birthday.

All the other babies have it easy. They can celebrate their birthdays on, get this, the day of their birthday.  I have to wait until every one has finished their exams. If people remember, that is. Who celebrates their middle of May birthday on the 9th of June? Well, I will be so take this as your invitation to the sad event.

May babies have had to endure this sad deal of life for all milestone birthdays.

Imagine this: When you’re sixteen you deal with it because you think it’s not that bad. You’re doing your GCSEs and you think they’re super important.

Then you’re doing your AS Levels. Chances are you didn’t realise how hard they were going to be and flunked all of your January exams, so these May ones really need to count. Therefore both you and your friends put your 17th birthday on the back end. You even wait until exams are over to start driving. Everything has to be delayed.

Then you actually turn 17, and all you can think about is turning 18. This is especially exciting when all your friends are turning 18 and you see them going out and having a great time in the major cities, whilst you’re still hitting the crappy clubs in your hometown where the bouncer only knows you by your fake I.D.s name.

Then May arrives. Friends are dropping out right, left and centre. They’re doing their A Levels, which are way more important than your birthday. So you have a slice of cake and a glass of wine with your parents. Big birthday. Your friends will probably feel bad and celebrate a week or two later, but by then the novelty has worn off.

Your 19th isn’t a big deal. Nothing happens at 19, but wait – it’s your first birthday at uni, and you’re pumped because you only need 40% – it’s first year. But suddenly May comes around and everyone is suddenly taking uni seriously… You’re disappointed, but you’re used to it by now.

Then you leave your teens and become 20. The big two-oh, but it’s not big, because everyone’s actually trying to get a first this year. So you accept your fate a spend your birthday in the library.

By your 21st you’ve given up and just decided you may as well be a June baby. That’s when everyone is prepared to celebrate anyway.

People try to post cute and cringey pictures of you on Facebook, but it just doesn’t make up for the five birthdays you’ve had to surrender to the demon of exam season.

So pray for the May babies. They have it seriously hard, and they can’t even celebrate it.