Children Solve ADC Mystery

There is a scandal at the ADC.

Throughout this term, posters have been mysteriously vanishing from railings around Cambridge.

I am Enid Q Blyton, Investigative Q Journalist, and I am here to set the record straight.

A week of highly intensive investigative journalism has led me to the conclusion that the posters vanished at exactly the same minute that the circus folk producing Week 2’s ADC late show Mr. Mustafah’s Wonderful Super Circus of the East left town.

One eye-witness has come forward and testified that the circus folk had, numbered amongst their ranks, a tiny boy – perhaps a dwarf, or foreigner – with the air of one who enjoyed stealing posters.

At this point, my train of enquiry ran dry, as trains are apt to do when chuffing through barren lands such as the Fens.

Top under-15 international investigators with their private steam train.

I decided to call in a favour and engaged the assistance of a crack squad.

My wits now sharper, it was time to bring in some old friends – George, Dick, Julian, Anne and Timmy.

They arrived on the 9.30 Express, pulling in straight to my living room and tumbling onto the platform I always keep under the sofa.

“Hello, George! Hello, Julian! Hello, Anne! Evening, Dick! Have a bone, Timmy!” I cried, dashing off to put the kettle on.

“Seriously, Enid? How many times? Dick’s the dog,” said Timmy, a strapping young man with shoulders. “And take that kettle off your head.”

Unabashed, I offered them some of my fresh Columbian coffee, which they spurned in favour of ginger beer. Without further ado, I spilled the beans.

“Tell us about the posters,” said Julian, who was nobody’s favourite.

I did.

He listened.

“It’s quite clearly the circus folk’s fault,” said George, who was really a girl. “They’re always up to no good. Case closed – hurrah! Time for some more ginger beer.”

Solving crimes with open minds and open mouths.

When, next day, I asked the circus folk for a comment, they said “Roll up, roll up, roll up.”

A linguistics expert has informed me that this could mean the circus folk have, once again, been selling cigarettes to children.

Another case closed by Enid Q Blyton, Investigative Q Journalist: the silent sixth member of the Famous Five. Hurrah! Though I might call Nancy Drew, just to be sure.

If you’re interested in more antics, Five Go Off On One! is at the Corpus Playroom at 21:30, from the 16th-20th February.

www.corpusplayroom.com/five