Jerked Off to Jail: Police Get a Grip on Cambridge College Masturbator

By , Senior Tab reporter on

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From injections to erections, a drug-dealer on probation tosses away his freedom.

Mohammed Rahim has been slapped on the wrist by authorities after masturbating publicly in front of female Cambridge University students. The two separate incidents occurred on August 20 and September 3 last year, when Rahim was caught red-handed while on probation from prison, after serving time for a drug-dealing conviction in 2011.

Post-exam cava is the only public spraying most Cambridge students are used to

Post-exam cava is the only public spraying most Cambridge students are used to

Randy Rahim of Selwyn Road, Newnham, is reported to have lurked around two different Cambridge colleges waiting for potential victims. He approached a lone female student in each case and asked for help with directions, while simultaneously giving himself a hand beneath his trousers.

Sentencing Rahim, Judge Jonathan Haworth said: “This was, as the charges say, outrageous behaviour and you clearly upset your two victims, who you approached in the street quite randomly, engaged in conversation and then masturbated under your clothes.”

Credit: Cambridge News

Mohammed Rahim

Last week, Cambridge Crown Court handed Rahim a hard punishment for the perverted offenses. The 32 year old will have no chance of release before 2016 as he will serve four months jail time for two counts of public indecency, in concurrence with the remainder of his sentence for supplying heroin. That’s no doubt a huge relief for Cambridge students everywhere.

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  • Greg Hill

    No masturbating in the gym – please and thank you.

  • Gam Suthrie

    Shit, is that illegal?

  • STOP


  • #WheresWilly

    taken too far…

  • Enoch Powell

    Miss me yet?

    • Nick Griffin

      Young tab, call me.

      • Actually Informed

        Not funny. Nick Griffin is a racist socialist – basically Old Labour, for the clueless retards who simultaneously hate him and cry about ‘BLIAR RUINED MUH LABOUR PARTEH!’ – while Powell was a prophet who predicted our current situation with immigration, and foresaw the necessary outcomes of state socialism and the benefits of market economy long before Thatcher entered Downing Street.

        Griffin is a retard, Powell was a patriot.

        • Actually Actually Informed

          Pretty sure Nick was a member of the National Front when before, after and during his time in Cam and is about as much an ‘Old Labour’ man as you are. Exploiting Blair’s detachment from the base does not a socialist make.

          Meanwhile, if Enoch was a prophet, does Steve McQueen’s win at the Golden Globes mean the black man now has the whip hand over the white man in this country? He also said that by 1985 the immigrant born population would be in the majority and the basic character of this country would be changed beyond recognition, so how’s that going?

          So stop trying to show off and go get the fucking cheese and biscuits.

        • I really hope

          These people aren’t actual cambridge students but just racists trolling on the internet.

          • I thought that Enoch comment was just random

            Now I realise they were trying to link immigration to sexual assault via the race of the man involved! Silly me!

  • Tab headline puns

    on form today

    • Whit-well

      ^No match to his punnage

    • Claudia fan

      Long live Leong

  • Aroused Johnian

    Your writing makes me Leong, Claudia.

  • what a


  • A Sensitive Scholar

    Charlie Bell is a crypto-communist. He got destroyed by Douglas Murray on Question Time six years ago.

    • I could not

      give less of a fuck

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