Jesus Jokers In Eton Mess

A trio of Jesus students are in a sticky situation after posing as Etonian applicants.

Three Jesus students have posed as applicants from Eton in a bid to frighten interviewees. 

The second year students entered the Marshall room dressed in suits and made outrageous claims to sixth formers waiting for their interviews.

According to Tab sources, the pranksters suggested only pupils from public schools had a chance of getting into the college.

Invigilators in the Marshall room, which was being used as the interview waiting room, soon realised what the students were up to and informed the college authorities.

As a result Dr Geoff Parks, the Senior Tutor at Jesus, released this statement:

“Three undergraduate members of Jesus College caused a disturbance in the area where a number of applicants were waiting for interview. This disturbance was cut short by the prompt intervention of other undergraduates who were acting as helpers during the interview process.

The College condemns this stupidity. The Dean of College is investigating the incident and will in due course decide what disciplinary action is appropriate.

Applicants will not be disadvantaged as a result of this incident.”

Student reaction has been mixed. This Facebook status, which was leaked to The Tab, received 158 likes, suggesting that many see a funny side to the prank.





But one Jesus fresher, who asked to remain anonymous, told us: “I can’t believe anyone would want to shake up applicants like that. They were in the same position once.”

Members of the college have suggested that the consequences of the incident itself aren’t particularly damaging – there would only have been around ten applicants in the Marshall room at any one time.

The intent of the action is perhaps of more concern to the college, along with the possibility that applicants might use the incident as an excuse for poor performance in interview – possibly with good reason.

The incident is likely to be a source of great embarrassment to the University, which has tried hard to dispel myths of anti-state school bias.

More to follow.

  • Fucking hell

    This is outrageous.

    • Actually

      Anyone who saw what happened would realise that they were quite clearly just taking the piss and that there was absolutely no effect on the admissions process whatsoever. Accusations of "shak[ing] up the applicants" are total bollocks.

      • True.

        Agree, I bet this comments section is full of applicants. No article would normally get that many comments/ratings outside of term.

    • Whodunnit



    At church I was always taught that Jesus accepts everyone.

  • Reader

    Initially funny until you realize you are messing with some kid's future.

  • Neutral Witnesses

    Why was I not questioned about the events?

    • because

      you're a cunt

  • This report

    is based entirely on a facebook status.

    • thetab


    • And

      a comment from the Senior Tutor, and a student

  • outrageous

    but ultimately hillarious

    • misspelt

      and ultimately wrong

      • I think you'll find

        you mean 'misspelled'

        • actually

          both are correct

  • think before you act

    reminiscent of the royal prank played last week that was only a 'joke'. people's futures and aspirations should not be played with like this by unthinking arseholes

    • erm

      they are kind of different, the royal prank had a very low chance of affecting any individuals so adversely, this very easily could have affected a few individuals' live

  • What complete


  • Facebook status…?

    Pretty sure that was a post in 'Overheard at Cambridge' rather than a facebook status. Also it doesn't mention that they went into a interview waiting room and actively tried to put off genuine candidates, so I don't think it's at all representative of whether people found this outrageous (and harmful) prank funny or not.

    • Also,

      Reading something on a public Facebook page is not receiving a "leak", Tab.

  • etonians

    are twats though

  • RSA

    Outrageous. The best solution would be to give applicants the choice to re-interview, IF they think the incident affected their performance.

  • In fairness

    cracking headline!

  • Overheard in Camb

    Serious matter, but isn't all this infomation from that one post quoted above as a 'status'? At least get some factual sources Tab.

    • you are deluded

      if you think the tab run news stories from one facebook post

    • No.

      The quotes from Jesus College officials weren't in the facebook post. This story clearly expands upon the original facebook post.

  • But

    its just banter

  • such


  • S.I.Ext

    Gaawwww. But it was funny.

  • Daily Mail

    Classic reporting as always

  • might be true story

    the incident has reached the Independent, who probably do check their sources – it's the main story in their education section

    • might not be

      Have you read the Independent article? The only source they seem to have checked is The Tab

  • think before you act

    That is a stupid comparison. This prank causes direct harm to the interviewees and to the reputation of the University; the 'royal prank' could not have been expected to cause anyone any harm, apart from a bit of embarrassment on the part of a few people in the hospital. The results of that prank were completely unforeseeable; this one was much more malicious.

  • bigdogginnit

    Apparently the prank was done in a way that made it obvious they were joking. As long as that's true it shouldn't be a problem

  • Etonians

    Why are they all pricks?

  • Phoebe

    'Only ten students' are ten students whose lives could be changed by not getting in if this effected it.

    • XYZYX


    • affected,

      not effected

    • Is Cambridge

      really life changing?

  • voice of reason

    well, it is not a nice thing to do, but it is quite funny, and it is a free country. So, unless there were an explicit rule against posing as an applicant, then these pranksters have no case to answer. Of course, if they had made the risible claims about state-school applicants' prospects in the capacity of an officially designated steward or representative, that would have been a serious matter.

  • Byron

    I don't see why people are getting so worked up about this. If they were pretending to be interviewees it's not like they would be taken seriously by other interviewees. If on the other hand they said they were current second year students and in their first hand experience only students from the independent sector were accepted, then surely that would have carried more gravitas?

  • Who the fuck

    has so much spare time on their hands that they PUT ON SUITS and intimidate teenagers for shits and giggles.

    • Term had ended…


  • Anon

    I was an interviewee in the Marshall Room at the time. There were only 3 of us in there. It was quite funny, but it surprised me that such immature nonces actually got in. It certainly didn't shake me up at all. It left me rather bemused.

    • A nonce

      is a sex offender. don't think they committed any sex offences.

  • Cunts,

    cunts everywhere

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