Jesus Jokers In Eton Mess

By on

A trio of Jesus students are in a sticky situation after posing as Etonian applicants.

Three Jesus students have posed as applicants from Eton in a bid to frighten interviewees. 

The second year students entered the Marshall room dressed in suits and made outrageous claims to sixth formers waiting for their interviews.

According to Tab sources, the pranksters suggested only pupils from public schools had a chance of getting into the college.

Invigilators in the Marshall room, which was being used as the interview waiting room, soon realised what the students were up to and informed the college authorities.

As a result Dr Geoff Parks, the Senior Tutor at Jesus, released this statement:

“Three undergraduate members of Jesus College caused a disturbance in the area where a number of applicants were waiting for interview. This disturbance was cut short by the prompt intervention of other undergraduates who were acting as helpers during the interview process.

The College condemns this stupidity. The Dean of College is investigating the incident and will in due course decide what disciplinary action is appropriate.

Applicants will not be disadvantaged as a result of this incident.”

Student reaction has been mixed. This Facebook status, which was leaked to The Tab, received 158 likes, suggesting that many see a funny side to the prank.





But one Jesus fresher, who asked to remain anonymous, told us: “I can’t believe anyone would want to shake up applicants like that. They were in the same position once.”

Members of the college have suggested that the consequences of the incident itself aren’t particularly damaging – there would only have been around ten applicants in the Marshall room at any one time.

The intent of the action is perhaps of more concern to the college, along with the possibility that applicants might use the incident as an excuse for poor performance in interview – possibly with good reason.

The incident is likely to be a source of great embarrassment to the University, which has tried hard to dispel myths of anti-state school bias.

More to follow.

  • Fucking hell

    This is outrageous.

    • Actually

      Anyone who saw what happened would realise that they were quite clearly just taking the piss and that there was absolutely no effect on the admissions process whatsoever. Accusations of "shak[ing] up the applicants" are total bollocks.

      • True.

        Agree, I bet this comments section is full of applicants. No article would normally get that many comments/ratings outside of term.

    • Whodunnit



    At church I was always taught that Jesus accepts everyone.

  • Reader

    Initially funny until you realize you are messing with some kid's future.

  • Neutral Witnesses

    Why was I not questioned about the events?

    • because

      you're a cunt

  • This report

    is based entirely on a facebook status.

    • thetab


    • And

      a comment from the Senior Tutor, and a student

  • outrageous

    but ultimately hillarious

    • misspelt

      and ultimately wrong

      • I think you'll find

        you mean 'misspelled'

        • actually

          both are correct

  • think before you act

    reminiscent of the royal prank played last week that was only a 'joke'. people's futures and aspirations should not be played with like this by unthinking arseholes

    • erm

      they are kind of different, the royal prank had a very low chance of affecting any individuals so adversely, this very easily could have affected a few individuals' live

  • What complete


  • Facebook status…?

    Pretty sure that was a post in 'Overheard at Cambridge' rather than a facebook status. Also it doesn't mention that they went into a interview waiting room and actively tried to put off genuine candidates, so I don't think it's at all representative of whether people found this outrageous (and harmful) prank funny or not.

    • Also,

      Reading something on a public Facebook page is not receiving a "leak", Tab.

  • etonians

    are twats though

  • RSA

    Outrageous. The best solution would be to give applicants the choice to re-interview, IF they think the incident affected their performance.

  • In fairness

    cracking headline!

  • Overheard in Camb

    Serious matter, but isn't all this infomation from that one post quoted above as a 'status'? At least get some factual sources Tab.

    • you are deluded

      if you think the tab run news stories from one facebook post

    • No.

      The quotes from Jesus College officials weren't in the facebook post. This story clearly expands upon the original facebook post.

  • But

    its just banter

  • such


  • S.I.Ext

    Gaawwww. But it was funny.

  • Daily Mail

    Classic reporting as always

  • might be true story

    the incident has reached the Independent, who probably do check their sources – it's the main story in their education section

    • might not be

      Have you read the Independent article? The only source they seem to have checked is The Tab

  • think before you act

    That is a stupid comparison. This prank causes direct harm to the interviewees and to the reputation of the University; the 'royal prank' could not have been expected to cause anyone any harm, apart from a bit of embarrassment on the part of a few people in the hospital. The results of that prank were completely unforeseeable; this one was much more malicious.

  • bigdogginnit

    Apparently the prank was done in a way that made it obvious they were joking. As long as that's true it shouldn't be a problem

  • Etonians

    Why are they all pricks?

  • Phoebe

    'Only ten students' are ten students whose lives could be changed by not getting in if this effected it.

    • XYZYX


    • affected,

      not effected

    • Is Cambridge

      really life changing?

  • voice of reason

    well, it is not a nice thing to do, but it is quite funny, and it is a free country. So, unless there were an explicit rule against posing as an applicant, then these pranksters have no case to answer. Of course, if they had made the risible claims about state-school applicants' prospects in the capacity of an officially designated steward or representative, that would have been a serious matter.

  • Byron

    I don't see why people are getting so worked up about this. If they were pretending to be interviewees it's not like they would be taken seriously by other interviewees. If on the other hand they said they were current second year students and in their first hand experience only students from the independent sector were accepted, then surely that would have carried more gravitas?

  • Who the fuck

    has so much spare time on their hands that they PUT ON SUITS and intimidate teenagers for shits and giggles.

    • Term had ended…


  • Anon

    I was an interviewee in the Marshall Room at the time. There were only 3 of us in there. It was quite funny, but it surprised me that such immature nonces actually got in. It certainly didn't shake me up at all. It left me rather bemused.

    • A nonce

      is a sex offender. don't think they committed any sex offences.

  • Anonymous

    What about COY?

  • Man slaughter

    COY is waaaaaaaay worse than Mechu

    • CB

      It’s not though is it.

  • Mez

    I wholeheartedly disagree.. Mechu is a charming little joint boasting sophistication with a splash of informality. It really encompasses what it means to be young and fly. One of the best nights of my life was when Ollie Craig let me face-fuck him…ughhh I would be lying if i said it didn’t touch me spiritually and emotionally, in ways I can’t even fathom. Shout out to my mum. Shes always been der 4 me, fru fik and fin.. fik and fucking fin x

  • Library Whore

    The amount of bitter people on here is ridiculous. I’ve been to 3 COY’s and they’ve all been sick. How anyone can say their nights are bad is beyond me. Must be the people there smiling or having fun that others hate. There isn’t a WORSE night, cos people have different tastes. Just try them for yourself, if you like them, you’ll keep going, regardless of what people say.

    • Fab ticket please

      Completely agree

    • cringe

      Every time COY crops up in the comments, a not-so subtle promoter for them pipes up with this bollocks. COY is toss.

      • Snore

        And who do you think writes these coy comments, a not so subtle competitor promo company hahaha. its all bollocks. just go where you want

  • Fab ticket please

    I know it’s fun and easy to hate on stuff, but people like different things. My fave nights are Vodbull, fab, COY and seedy. That’s just my preference. I like Vodbull cos no one gives a toss, fab cos all my mates are there, COY cos im seeing parts of brum I never new existed and it’s a nice crowd (btw how can anyone can say this is a bad night when I’m pretty sure the night changes each time), and seedy cos of the music. Again just my preference.

  • …..

    I don’t understand why this exists. House fans will say pop world sucks while people who hate people wearing blazers will say Mechu sucks. Admittedly fab is amazing and loved by all but I also love seedy and COY cos all my friends love them too.

  • Cunts,

    cunts everywhere

  • Steve

    yeah, its true. He is banned but not sure for what. I would imagine that is was for being a total douchebag though.

  • Blah

    Will Amott – Did you write this because you are banned from Mechu for being a total douchbag?

  • Jacob Masters

    Maxi’s is the furthest thing from dodgy, best Dim Sum you’ll get in Leeds.

  • Alex Pollock

    The Mine is great, me and my ponytail love Disclosure and Rudimental! #housemusic

  • What a responsible article for the Tab to publish, where drugs are depicted as relaxing and/or happiness-inducing and alcohol (which as you so astutely observed, is legal) is made to sound altogether worse. Don’t think it quite tells the full story does it? You do an amazingly good job of playing the devil’s advocate for someone who ‘certainly doesn’t condone illegal drug use in any way’.

    • Look At The Evidence

      It’s completely correct, though. Alcohol IS altogether worse. Pointing out the facts doesn’t mean he’s encouraging it.

    • Not a stubstance abuser

      Perfectly put. Good article in the sense it opens a discussion worth having, but don’t pretend it’s more noble to take drugs than drink alcohol. This article doesn’t do much by way of neutral arguments. I sense a drug user amongst us

      • Katie

        I sense an alcohol user…

  • Substance abuser

    I love drugs and alcohol. this is a wonderful article.

    • Olly Newport

      Alcohol is a drug.

      • Chris

        It’s not a drug. It’s a drink!

        • Brass

          Got any Clarky-Cat

        • jackson

          So heroin in water is just a drink too.
          Even one shot of pure ethanol would kill you

  • meth addict

    this article is common sense to any reasonable person.

    if you got into university and are still unable to see how alcohol is more of a harmful drug than most of the criminalised ones, then chances are you’re a massive cunt and this article won’t change anything.

    • J. Pinkman

      100% agree

  • finally

    What a well argued, engaging and provoking article. I only smoke weed myself, and like the idea of the “third night” described, but I am fucking tired of the drunkards who hold themselves in such a high regard, regardless of their disgusting sexual actions on a boozy night out. Well done mate

  • ., Pidgeon

    Vom why is Bristol full so many pigeons #shouldhavegonetodurham

  • Guest

    I think you brand everyone who likes to get drunk as a so called ‘rugby lad’ with this article. Yes, I take your point that drunk people can be violent and crass, but there are also plenty (I would suggest a majority) of individuals who can get drunk and still act normally, having a good time on a night out, meeting new people and generally having the same experience as the one you describe in the introduction to your article, just without the use of pills. There is plenty wrong with drinking culture, but to judge it by its weakest member is not fair. Equally, if I were to stereotype drug users as shivering in the corner of a grim house party at 8am, pale white and unable to speak it would not be representative drug users as a whole.

    • Yawn

      What a boring comment.

      • STFU

        Let me guess, you do drugs? Aren’t you just the coolest?!

        • I take it you’re one of the drunk drug hating twats mentioned in the article.

    • dafty

      what fuckin parties do you go to mate?

      your train of thought is about as logical as seeing no difference between sambuca and drain cleaner

      theres a difference between some mdma and fucking smack

  • Wiseman

    Nothing is wrong with smoking up every other week. Personally, I prefer drinking but smoking up once in a while is chill too

    • STFU

      You ‘smoke up,’ and it’s ‘chill’? You must be so cool. I’d advise you post as ‘Coolguy’ rather than ‘Wiseman’ from now on – it suits you.

  • ReAlTaLk

    This article is completely true in every way. Drugs = An enjoyable night, a friendly attitude to strangers, and a trouble free-considerate crowd most of the time (exceptions ofcourse). Whereas alcohol almost exclusively leads to a bad night, aggression/stupidity/unfriendly attitudes, rowdy crowds and fights. I know that I’d much rather be in a room full of people on MDMA than Vodka . .

    • STFU

      Sounds like you hang out with the wrong people

  • Anon

    Hard research facts, in particular from those like David Nutt, show that alcohol has actually been deemed the most harmful drug to the individuals and to others. Not only does the harm to yourself need to be taken into consideration, but almost more importantly, the harm to others. In fact, the harm to others score associated with alcohol is over double that of heroin, the most dangerous of the illegal drugs. Of course in no way am I suggesting that heroin, or even the other two most dangerous of illegal drugs, crack cocaine and methamphetamine are less dangerous than alcohol, purely due to their high dependence levels. However, those drugs are not the ones in discussion here. Further down the list of harmful drugs is cannabis, of which a lot of the harm caused to the individual is due to the tobacco used to smoke cannabis with. Cannabis can be used in a much more healthy way, such as with vaporisers and cooked into food. Even further down the list of harm caused by drugs (17th) is Ecstacy (MDMA). Some of the original uses for MDMA included therapeutic roles in a clinical setting, increasing patients’ capacity for therapeutic introspection. Its therapeutic potential for post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety associated with cancer and addiction are currently being tested through clinical trials. The harm caused by MDMA / Ecstasy can often be put down to it being a ‘dodgy batch’, so being cut with much more harmful, cheaper substances. This problem would obviously be eliminated if the substance was legal. Of course the psychological affects of both cannabis and MDMA need to be considered, but as with everything in life, moderation needs to be kept in mind. Writing this currently on a ‘come-down’, something that can be avoided with enough sleep, water and healthy food, I can certainly say I feel much better than any day after a night of drinking. I am someone who enjoys the occasional hash joint, a night out taking some MDMA to enhance my enjoyment of music, or some drinks socialising with friends, and am someone who has taken all three of these things too far on occasion. However, the results of drinking too much are far more horrendous than those of taking MDMA and smoking cannabis. The full extent to this ongoing argument has barely been touched on here obviously, and what more could be said is about hospital admissions, addictiveness, and crime related to each. All of these substances can be enjoyed responsibly and what needs to be emphasised is the correct education about drugs, directed particularly at young teenagers.

  • Titus B

    This article is so ‘I’ve gone to unayyy and taken drugs and now my eyes are open and they’re so much better than a standard night out’. People who haven’t taken drugs will always have the perception that its a stupid thing to do and rightly so. And most drug users have that perception initially too before they’ve given in and tried something. I’m sure there’s a pretty high chance the author of this article would have had a similar view before he got to university bar weed.

    • Katie

      I think a Mercedes is a really difficult car to drive, I’ve heard people say that they are really nice to drive but i think that is only because they HAVE driven one (I bet they had the same view of me before they tried it). But obviously my opinion is more right because I haven’t tried it and so don’t know what I’m talking about

  • Ben

    “it causes a higher number of fatalities” – Alcohol and Tobacco kill more than most recreational drugs like MDMA.

  • You don’t know anything

    Hahahaha neither ‘majestic casual’ nor ‘marabou state’ is really house music you moron. House music is all about the grooves, not the “monotonous beats”. Clearly whoever wrote this article does not know house music. it does have unfortunate affiliations with hipsters and red stripe and MDMA, but they’re not true house fans (most just want to get high). I have been in Motion for 8 hours straight, sober and loved it. I love house music, theres nothing quite like it.

    • sam

      Hook us up with some recommendations of real house music then…

  • who do think you are

    just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean other people are lying when they say they do..

  • Hmm

    A ‘massive conspiracy’ led by nightclub owners and djs to dupe the innocent clubber out of their money…could a simpler explanation be that some people enjoy house and you just happen not to?

  • Joe

    This was clearly written by a fucking square.

  • The Pinger-breadman


  • jon snerrrr

    house music goes hand in hand with mdma. Try that then get back to me

  • Rizzle Pricks

    Put your crackers in your nans handbag and tell her one’s vagina whiffs of discount salmon terrine’s and dandruff. Gotta catch em all. Pokemon.

  • Thiss

    I stopped reading this when I noted that your knowledge/experience of a safe source for House being Majestic…

  • u wot m8

    Tab once again manages to pull out a rubbish opinion piece.
    The answer to your question is obviously “Yes, people like it.”
    If you don’t stop going to parties that play it and drink your sambuca somewhere else.

  • Majestic Mike (aka the Roth)

    This article is blasphemy

  • JT

    this has to be THE WORST article I have ever read. absolutely no research done and not the slightest clue as to what real house music is all about. the writer is a class A nobber!

  • Lord of the Pings


  • David

    no need to slag off an entire genre of music just because you’re too ignorant / lazy to dig a bit deeper than the majestic channel on youtube.

  • really?

    I thought you were meant to research something before you write about it……

  • dave

    Ekin… take off the berkinstocks, remove your head from your ass, TAKE A SHOWER and put some deodorant on…… and then you can tell me about how your hippy, folk, drum circle crap is soooooo much more soulful and helps you connect to mother earth. Music is subjective, stay in school and try to not be so judgmental…… NAZIs were judgmental, don’t be a NAZI

  • jmh

    by far some of the worst ‘journalism’ i have EVER read

  • Sace

    This is how people who really, like house, drum & bass, jungle, garage etc etc feel about every commercial night ever made. To be honest, I wish all the people that have suddenly decided that they love house would go back to their commercial nights and stop killing good nights for people that actually want to be there. I thank you hahaha

  • Sace

    ‘your edgiest mate’ hahhahahahaha

  • Alex de Lacey

    3 paragraphs mate? Come on. And for the record, I really like house. It’s not a load of monotonous beats, and I’ve never followed the majestic channel.

  • geezer

    It’s cuz u not on mandy bruv

  • BuffaloSoulja

    Preach on my son. I wouldn’t go as far as to say all House is shit, and that there are not people out there who genuinely enjoy it, but yes – a shit ton of people have no idea and just listen to it to appear edgy and cool. When actually that’s lame as fuck, although most people can’t see pass it.

  • George McNamara

    I totally agree with the direction of the article, but I wish it had been a bit better written

  • Total bastard

    You’re making an important point, but you actually manage to miss the point, and made a large error in your article. In the UK alcohol, and especially smoking, cause a far greater number of deaths than any illegal drugs. Anyone who has taken even half an hour to put any real research into the topic should know that drugs legislation worldwide has very little to do with public health, and is in fact based on the reactionary instincts of a misled public. When you look at the rates of incarceration of minorities for drugs offences, particularly in the USA, which is the nation whose example we blindly follow in the war on drugs, you get a clearer picture as to why drugs were first criminalized.

    Whether alcohol gets you more or less fucked up than illegal drugs is basically immaterial in the debate. Pretty much all of them have the potential to turn you into a dribbling mess if you misuse them, but given that everyone who wants to take drugs is doing so already it seems to me we need to be having a different discussion to the one that has been on the table for the past 100 or so years. Do we continue to pretend that drug abuse is a criminal problem that can be controlled by repressive legislation, and disturbingly invasive police powers, or do we admit that it is a health problem, and instead of stigmatizing the unfortunate minority (and it is a minority) that develop addiction problems as criminals try to treat the condition sensibly?

    Definitely agree with the main thrust of this though; it is ludicrous for those that drink to excess to criticize those that get their kicks from a different substance.

    • :)

      I have heard somewhere you are more likely to get a drug addiction after leaving an American prison after being charged for possession than you are have an addiction land you in prison.
      The current drug legislation is mass producing criminals, and that’s all it achieves.

  • gandalf

    Don’t justify wrong with more wrong? moron.
    Like saying knives are legal and can be used to stab someone so let’s make fucking big ass katanas legal too?

  • Olly Newport

    Except that alcohol kills far more people every year than cannabis, LSD, MDMA, and cocaine combined. Even if you factor in that vastly more people consume alcohol over these illegal substances – the harm to those around you (and the drain on the NHS) is significantly more.

    Mushrooms, LSD, and MDMA are some of the least harmful to both the user and those around them. The class system is a totally obscure method of categorisation and the government should wake up to that.

    It’s significantly more harmful to criminalise recreational drug use, for both the user and the taxpayer. Treat drugs like they do in Portugal, and make it a health issue rather than a criminal one.


  • thatGuy

    brilliant article, I’ll happily admit that I use MDMA, how else would I get through festivals?! I’d rather have a heavy night doing lines/bombs and drinking water than getting drunk. I personally find that alcohol seems to bring out the worst in people whereas most drugs seem to bring out the best in people. Obviously I don’t do drugs all the time, only where it’s ‘acceptable’ (ie D&B events, festivals, certain house parties etc) I’ve done it before on a ‘normal’ night out on the town and to be honest everyone knows you’re on something, it’s difficult to be discreet.

    I think on the whole it’s down to personal preference, if you try drugs and don’t get on with them, don’t do them. Personally I’ve never had a bad experience with drugs because I’m fairly sensible (well I like to think so, anyway).

  • 1

    I think the fact drugs are illegal speaks volumes. Yes everyone seems to mention how many people die from alcohol and tobacco, but if you really look at the percentages of people that uses alcohol and tobacco and for how long these drugs have been used for is it a surprise? Lets say everyone that uses alcohol and tobacco substitutes it for ‘pills’ or ‘coke’ lets see how many death/addictions come from that. How you can try to promote pills as ‘being a good time’ is beyond me, you as an individual many be able to just ‘have a good time’ but to suggest that people to should take them instead of alcohol is ludicrous. I think to even consider getting into drugs just to have a better time is sad and to use alcohol to the extent you describe is also wrong. I can say I know hardly anyone that turns to violence after drinking, however I have had friends that now have a record for assault after using illegal drugs. Yes people many die from long term alcohol abuse, but do you know how many people whether they admit its ‘addiction’ or not end up in prison with something relating to illegal drug use, everyone believes that will never be me, but I have worked with enough prisoners to know that drugs is a viscous cycle that may have started as having a good time on a night out but ends up with consent re-offending and a cycle they cant break.

  • 1

    I think the fact drugs are illegal speaks volumes. Yes everyone seems to mention how many people die from alcohol and tobacco, but if you really look at the percentages of people that uses alcohol and tobacco and for how long these drugs have been used for is it a surprise? Lets say everyone that uses alcohol and tobacco substitutes it for ‘pills’ or ‘coke’ lets see how many death/addictions come from that. How you can try to promote pills as ‘being a good time’ is beyond me, you as an individual many be able to just ‘have a good time’ but to suggest that people to should take them instead of alcohol is ludicrous. I think to even consider getting into drugs just to have a better time is sad and to use alcohol to the extent you describe is also wrong. I can say I know hardly anyone that turns to violence after drinking, however I have had friends that now have a record for assault after using illegal drugs. Yes people many die from long term alcohol abuse, but do you know how many people whether they admit its ‘addiction’ or not end up in prison with something relating to illegal drug use, everyone believes that will never be me, but I have worked with enough prisoners to know that drugs is a viscous cycle that may have started as having a good time on a night out but ends up with consent re-offending and a cycle they cant break.

  • Jessika

    Don’t get me wrong I have tried drugs before but it stops there. Yes I disapprove of drug users for nights out etc.. Because most of these people don’t just do it for nights out, you’ll find they do it every other night if not every night. I go out into town and get drunk every 1-2 months but that doesn’t mean me and my friends go out and cause trouble. Yes we get stupid drunk but we look after each other. Personally, I believe this article is aimed at uni students.

    • cunt wrangler

      What a stupid fucking comment.

  • Guest

    Blaming alcohol for the way girls get treated on a night out?! I know lots of guys who get wasted and still respect women on a night out. Alcohol can intensify emotion and action but fundamentally sexism stems from somewhere deeper and this article allows people to excuse away their actions on being drunk. There hasn’t always been this culture of ‘aggresive grinding’, in nearly every single bar/club. Yet people have always been getting wasted.

    • dapper laughs

      mandatory feminist wading in… pretty sure this article isn’t excusing anything, it’s simply correctly pointing out that boys are more rapey on drink than drugs

  • Tee

    Good article, though I’d just like to correct the bit that says “Clearly there are two sides to this argument due to the proven psychological dangers of drug abuse. As well as the fact it causes a higher number of fatalities,”

    Recent statistics in England (2011 is the most complete & recent I could find easily), 797 people died from illegal drug use, of any sort ///but in combination with more than one drug///, and that number upped to 1,172 when said drugs were also consumed with alcohol.

    That’s a fair few people, yes. But in terms of purely alcohol related deaths, 8,748 died that same year. Not including indirect deaths, from things like drink-driving, fights, people smashing their head on the floor when they’re too pissed, diseases and problems from long term drinking, etc. Just people drinking too much and dying from the consumption.

    Just taking a single illegal substance at a time resulted in 428 deaths.

  • Ryan ayres

    I don’t care what anyone says. Every time I go to a rave and get on the mandy the night is amazing. No fights no problems everyone loves everyone
    . I go out to clubs their is girls arguing and guys fighting. I’ve been to clubs all over the south and raves all over the south.

  • Ollie

    There’s less fatalities from drugs than alcohol. Only a few per year in the UK for MDMA which is probably the most common ‘night out’ drug. Maybe a little more for cocaine and speed which are second and third most common. It’s a few per week for alcohol. Thing is though, most drug users do it really stupidly, don’t test their drugs, don’t take sensible doses, don’t set a sensible frequency of use to stick by. So there’s that to criticise, but drinkers aren’t much more sensible either. Sensible drug use could equal no deaths apart from allergic reactions though. Alcohol is a hard drug. MDMA, cannabis and and psychedelics are certainly soft drugs (physically), and the psychological dangers could easily be avoided by having a psychological profile done and seeing about family history of mental disorders. Even allergies could be screened for.

  • jackson

    All good stuff. However the last part about Oldham drugs having a higher fatality rate is not accurate. Alcohol and cigarettes kill way more people on there own each year than all other drugs combined.

  • John

    You have a point – but drug users fund criminals and drug lords that harm thousands of people which is quite a big factor to consider (despite most people’s desire to turn a blind eye to this fact). Legalise it then?

  • Benjamin Blythe

    The ultimate discerning issue is that drugs are illegal, and alcohol isn’t. As far as I’m concerned anyone condoning illegal activities or joining in is subject for criticism, the fact is if someone goes out and drinks perhaps a bit more than they should, assuming they control themselves isn’t breaking the law. We also need to consider 99% of people are perfectly reasonable when drunk.

  • Clickity Click

    I hope i am speaking from an unbiased perspective but I work many of Edinburgh’s clubnights and whilst i don’t really condone harder party drugs like coke and Ket, something I personally wouldn’t go near but don’t have a problem with others taking it, other softer drugs like MD and weed I don’t have a problem with. I observe a lot of people on a night out whilst doing my job and the only horror stories or times you hear of “drug” users causing trouble is either inexperienced users having too much, just like if you drank too much, getting into health related problems on their night out or in long term if they abuse, much like alcohol so at the end of the day, they aren’t much different if abused.

    9 times out of 10 i see people having to be carried out because they have drank too much, i see fights happening because people have been fueled by too much drink. I barely ever see people on drugs causing any problems unless someone starts on them or they have a bad trip (comparable to when someone drinks too much). You also have to remember that someone that might take a drug can also be spiked in the sense that, whatever they have taken can be accidentally (or carelessly) tainted with something else by a careless dealer so you can not always blame them.

    Much of what i have said won’t really make sense unless you’re sober or working in a club/event but when you have been working for even just over a year in the club and event industry, it becomes more clear. I would definitely support a drugs reform where weed and similar drugs can be lowered in class or treated like alcohol as despite what people say, alcohol is a psychoactive drug that affects people in many different ways. It’s also very unfair to compare alcohol and drugs when alcohol has accounted to more deaths either through over-consumption, drink-driving, fights and illness induced through chronic drinking. I also realise chronic drug taking will lead to health problems, like alcohol, so i’m not just defending drugs incase it sounds like it.

    Just my 2 cents.

  • A. Exeter

    The difference is however that alcohol is legal and drugs are ILLEGAL. So yes, non-drug users who drink have every right to criticise drug users. Alcohol is bad there is no denying that but as long as it’s legal/drugs are illegal you can’t compare.

  • Semaj

    I agree for the most part with this. Only thing, if you’re going to start quoting supposed facts, you should really be presenting some properly gathered statistical evidence on the matter. Drug abuse kills more than alcohol? Doubtful when you consider the vast range of health problems associated and that occur as a direct result of consuming alcohol. And then of course the general social disorder that it brings in its wake. How many cases of manslaughter/murder are attributed to alcohol etc. Empirical evidence is key here, less you become guilty of feeding people misinformation.

  • Lindsey Lohan

    They’re both bad for you however given the illegality of certain drugs in the UK there is a lack of regulation. This is what causes problems. Taking illegally produced and sold drugs means you have no idea what you’re actually putting in your body. In a regulated market both are as bad as one another but at the moment consuming alcohol at least means you have an idea of what’s going in, even if you fail to control the quantity.
    Numerous studies show that high street drugs have large amounts of human faeces in due to improper hygeine in “factories”.

  • dan

    “dropping mandy” “smoking up” – so down with the kids!

  • SecretSpice69

    That Arjun guy is fit as

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  • Smegan Leddy

    I thought that Arjun guy was pretty cool but he never called me back. #lostlove

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  • Bobby

    This article takes the worst extremes of alcohol and the best scenario of smoking the least potent drug and compares them. Not quite what people are on about when they raise concerns about drug users.

  • Neil

    I suppose when you think about it everything’s a drug; beer, disprin, coffee, trainers, chicken nuggets, clingfilm, plants, clothes, car tyres, calculators, wasps…

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  • aHorseCalledMan

    What killed her?

  • jo

    Did he want this story published? Seems pretty screwed up to write about it if not.

  • not a mug

    Shouldnt have been drinking if you were driving then you tart

  • Maybe ask for ur knickers bk

    hahahaha one of the nicest men ‘slimes’ hahahhaha jesus christ. This is the guy who chased a mugger who stole his phone, then gave him a fiver cos he said he was poor. Grow up love

  • tom

    good interview ^ ^ ^ ?

  • Cunt Observer

    Hiding behind an anonymous name…brave of you

  • Cunt Oberver

    Sorry everyone I was too busy missing the irony of my comment to realise I’m actually a cunt

  • Dave

    Witty one there you moronic cunt

  • Bruno

    Cos he didn’t. At all. We lost ticket money. Saying stuf like that just shows urself to b a dick. Money and cost of event had to b covered. Anything extra was given to us (i was part of the team holding money bukets). Getting money off the sports teams was a mess cos some didn’t want to pay pound extra. Get ur facts straight.

  • Sue Perkins

    You, you Mel cunt

  • LOL

    As if illicit drug use doesn’t cause psychological problems either

  • Jimbob

    Spoken like a true moron – “Well it’s probably been grown in a room where someone could have lived in it” – so by that logic your TV and sofa are responsible for homelessness because your living room isn’t being used as housing. Furthermore alcohol ruins tens of thousands more lives every year than any of these drugs, and in case you didn’t realise, if these drugs were legalised then they could be taxed, as well as being safer. Lastly you’ve clearly never met anyone on MDMA if you think all they get out of it is “misery”.

  • Advocate of the Devil

    You’ve also managed to highlight an entirely different debate – the only reason that people “buy weed and heroin from the Taliban”, to paraphrase, (which is only very mildly factually correct anyway) is because of the illegality of it. So if this is your main argument against it then it’s an easy one to fix, supply it legally. Disclaimer: I don’t think that’s the answer, but it would solve the problems you’ve highlighted

  • gimp

    “One joint can fuck you up, doesn’t have to be your first, but it could be your last.” – did your Mummy tell you this

  • Katie

    I’d rather help some poor farmer in Afghanistan than to the fucked up government to pay for bombs to blow them up!
    PS do you really think they ship weed all that way instead of growing it here? What is the sense in that?
    PPS I heard the USA gov gave the Taliban all their starting money anyway.. probably with all the money they made taxing alcohol

  • SIMM

    Alcoholics smell sweeeeeeet :)

  • ‘Lex Shuffler

    so wrong

  • emmaleesa4

    That’s not good advice! Don’t play games. If you have an issue in a relationship you should be open & talk about it like adults. Not saying she should accuse him but at least tell him how your feeling.

  • dontbeanknob

    wtf are u talking about u knob have you ever been on md ? it’s characterised by an amazing all encompassing euphoria that makes you love everyone and everything. Many a time have I made deep conversation with strangers simply by virtue of being on mdma… alcohol has the opposite effect, it’s a depressant, and naturally makes you more prone to aggression

  • Lee

    Hopefully you’re joking, it’s for kids who get an allowance from their parents because they’re still being coddled.

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