Jesus Jokers In Eton Mess

Three Jesus students have posed as applicants from Eton in a bid to frighten interviewees. 

The second year students entered the Marshall room dressed in suits and made outrageous claims to sixth formers waiting for their interviews.

According to Tab sources, the pranksters suggested only pupils from public schools had a chance of getting into the college.

Invigilators in the Marshall room, which was being used as the interview waiting room, soon realised what the students were up to and informed the college authorities.

As a result Dr Geoff Parks, the Senior Tutor at Jesus, released this statement:

“Three undergraduate members of Jesus College caused a disturbance in the area where a number of applicants were waiting for interview. This disturbance was cut short by the prompt intervention of other undergraduates who were acting as helpers during the interview process.

The College condemns this stupidity. The Dean of College is investigating the incident and will in due course decide what disciplinary action is appropriate.

Applicants will not be disadvantaged as a result of this incident.”

Student reaction has been mixed. This Facebook status, which was leaked to The Tab, received 158 likes, suggesting that many see a funny side to the prank.

But one Jesus fresher, who asked to remain anonymous, told us: “I can’t believe anyone would want to shake up applicants like that. They were in the same position once.”

Members of the college have suggested that the consequences of the incident itself aren’t particularly damaging – there would only have been around ten applicants in the Marshall room at any one time.

The intent of the action is perhaps of more concern to the college, along with the possibility that applicants might use the incident as an excuse for poor performance in interview – possibly with good reason.

The incident is likely to be a source of great embarrassment to the University, which has tried hard to dispel myths of anti-state school bias.

More to follow.