King’s Affair


EDWARD TAN is a little bummed-out by King's Affair. It's a bad case of the 3am ball blues.

Contanimation at King’s Affair

20th June 2012, £74

King’s Affair is an absolute blast, there’s no denying it.

But only when you’re able to get away from the queues and disappointing food and drink. With its multiple stages, great music and sensational chapel, there’s something for everyone. That still doesn’t excuse the failure to justify the £74 ticket price which ultimately put a negative end on my night.

Admittedly I was tired going in, running on a lack of sleep after a long May Week. However, having heard the rave reviews from friends who attended in past years I entered King’s Affair with a pretty positive mindset.

First impressions were great. A selection of food vans and drink stalls were great surroundings as we stood in the middle of the lawn, gazing at the lit college walls, looking gleefully at the bouncy castles, zorbing, slides and the awesome bubble main stage.

A tour around the grounds to get bearings impressed me even more. The interior decor of Disney characters was impressive, although the Teletubbies scared the shit out of me. Grabbing as much booze as I could, I threw myself into it, hitting every stage to dance my night away.

From this point on however, it went downhill. As more and more people entered the grounds, the queues didn’t stop growing. While I managed to get a burger and hot dog on entry, I queued 30 minutes to get a crepe to then discover that the falafel and jacket potato van shut around 11.30.

Booze queues were passable at this point, but the drinks themselves were a little lacking. We found cheap vodka, whiskey and gin (only marginally better than Sainsbury’s basics), with bottles of 35p energy drink, coke and lemonade. Cans of cider and lager helped balance it out, but in some areas the queues for drinks were endless.

Lines for the bouncy castles and zorbing in the freezing cold just left me feeling put off by them. And queues for the remaining food were consistently growing, until the stall would announce they’d run out and close.

The 3am ball blues were the worst. By this point I’d started to sober up and the munchies kicked in with a vengeance, leaving me feeling like I was about to faint from lack of food. A 30 minute queue later and I finally managed to get my hands on a mixed chicken and quorn pitta. The bacon baps were almost insulting with such little bacon involved.

Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy King’s Affair. I admired the costumes (kudos to Pacman and the ghosts), I danced to some great music, and the vibe was fantastic. My friends who did manage to get drunk on what was on offer were also massively enjoying themselves.

On the other hand, where the hell did my money go? Paying £74 for a ticket, I was at least expecting decent food and drink to last all night, a feat not impossible considering Pembroke and Tit Hall June Events.

Having been to King’s Bunker last term I couldn’t see enough difference between the Bunker and the Affair to justify the much higher price. And when I wasn’t having fun, I was queuing.

The mantra of King’s Affair “Beats not Bollinger” was definitely fulfilled on this night. Great music from all stages and acts, and in a fantastic setting. But it also managed to skimp on pretty much on everything else, including at one point, bottles of water. I was looking forward to King’s Affair, and determined not to let my tiredness drag me down.

But what started well descended into frustration, as I was confronted with queue after queue for the most basic and disappointing food and drink. I know some of you will cry out that I’m reviewing it poorly because of my fatigue. However, after a long hard look at what was on offer, I can assure you, I’m really not.

Food and drink:

[rating:2/5]

Wow factor:

[rating:4/5]

Value for money

[rating:2/5]

Star attraction:

Chapel and music

Biggest turn-0ff:

Ticket price at £74

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