What a Duck-up!


Cam Conservators have been accused of attacking sitting ducks.

Cam conservators have angered animal welfare activists yet again after ducklings were killed by a lawnmower.

In preparation for May Bumps, the flagship college rowing event of the year, the banks of the Cam were mowed this week.

However, it is alleged that there was no consideration of animals’ nesting season, resulting in the death of at least one family of ducks, the remains of which were found on the riverbank.

This comes in the same week as rowers have been attacked from national animal rights groups and anarchists alike over the treatment of Mr ASBO.

The RSPCA reacted with ‘disappointment’ to this ducking of responsibility. A statement said “We are very surprised and disappointed that they have shown that degree of ignorance in mowing the verges in the middle of breeding season.”

Cute. But will it blend?

And Cam Conservators, who are responsible for the river’s well-being and have recently been described as being ‘in the pockets’ of rowers, will not have assuaged doubts with their response.

They told the press, “It was not intentional. I’m sure that the contractors next time will be more careful.”

Students seem genuinely angered by the blunder, with an anonymous duck enthusiast telling The Tab that she was fed up of the wise-quacking Conservators. “The trauma experienced by the duck community is an unacceptable side effect of the rowing obsession,” she continued.

Second year Engineer James Sheldon was also critical, telling The Tab, “It’s not really OK to kill animals just so boaties can have some fun. Especially if they’re cute and fluffy.”

@Jonny_Singer
  • Trinitarian

    Yum yum. We're going to have duck confit for the next week!

  • Dolan Duck

    Gooby plz.

  • IT'S SO FLUFFY

    I'M GONNA DIE!

  • Real Avenger

    It's fine. I rescued 12 ducks from Parkers Piece the other day.

  • Idea

    Will it mow could definitely catch on

  • Ducktivist

    Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!?!?!?

  • Eugene Geidelberg

    I did my Part II Zoology project on ducks and I can confirm that being lawnmowered is not adaptive.

  • Naturist

    Has anyone noticed how long the grass is getting? Bumps is another 2 and a half weeks away…

Get the best of The Tab on our app.

REVIEW: The Winter’s Tale

Shakespeare returns to the ADC in fine style.

and

REVIEW: Trump’d

This madcap satire is entertaining, but doesn’t entirely live up to its premise

A letter to my Samaritans saviour

It took a stranger on the end of the phone to keep me alive: why Cambridge needs to do more about mental health.

, Assistant Editor

Snapchatting your trip to the polling station is silly, self-absorbed and insignificant

It’s a day about something bigger, and you somehow managed to make it about yourself

, Argument Editor

‘What’s the weather like up there?’ and other things tall people are fed up of hearing

You’re right actually, it is starting to rain

, Soton Opinion Editor of The Tab

Stop saying Kent is ‘racist’

There is something more complicated at play

, Assistant Editor

The Midlands is a place, don’t tell me I live in the North (or South)

Ever heard of Stratford-upon-Avon?

, Durham Editor

I went on the pill to treat my acne and it almost killed me

Madison will be on blood thinning medication for the rest of her life

, Assistant Editor

Stop saying you’ll give up things you have no interest in quitting

‘This is the last time I’m drinking, ever’