Total Shit Ed’s

A plumbing failure at St Edmund's has left residents, including young children, in frozen, unsanitary conditions.

St Edmund’s found itself in the shit this weekend, as a faulty pump has left much of the college without adequate plumbing.

Unable to cope with the cold temperatures, the Norfolk building, the largest in the college, has been without running water for 48 hours. Much of the college’s family accommodation has met the same fate.

Most shockingly, toilets in the Norfolk building haven’t been flushed over the weekend, despite the CR holding its May Ball launch party on Saturday night. Efforts by Eddie’s to close off the toilets were met with limited success, as with more revellers than usual the party left the toilets in the eye of a storm on Sunday morning.

The backed up bogs mean residents are still  faced with potentially serious hygiene problems, especially with St Edmund’s offering accommodation to families with babies and children on-site.

Shivering students have also been forced to brave the cold conditions just to fill kettles and were trekking across snow and ice to have showers in other buildings.

A source described the situation as “really scandalous”, and said that “the conditions in the main building are completely unsanitary.”

“I think it is pretty dire that students are living in conditions like this.”

This isn’t the first shortage from St Ed’s, as students have previously been left without hot water for days at a time. Now students will be hoping the plumbing is fixed before the it really hits the fan.

A college receptionist said he hoped the facilities would be working again by later today.

This article originally reported that broken pipes, not a faulty pump, caused the water outage; and that St Edmund’s had previously left students without all water, rather than just hot water. Efforts have been made to acknowledge college’s response to the incident.

These points were corrected following a complaint from a member of college.

  • Rebecca Black

    We so excited

  • Lovelace

    I don't know about your source, but I was in charge of the May Ball launch party and we've managed not to "left the toilets in the eye of a storm on Sunday morning"

    Furthermore, we had a team of people working in situ just to made sure our guests had good sanitary conditions. Please ask anybody about this fact.

  • Undergrad

    What is St Edmunds?

    • I think…

      it's the college of the new Blues Rugby Captain – Rob Malaney.

  • rcth

    As another member of the organisation committee for the St Edmund's May Ball, I would like to add to Lovelace's comment. The decision to continue with the Launch Party was taken only following much discussion, with the approval of the college and with a contingency plan in place. The toilets in the main building were closed and signposted as out of order, with guests being directed to a separate building with operational toilets, and members of the committee were on hand all night in order to deal with any arising issues.

    • Jim

      The separate building was quite a walk away across a dark, open courtyard and it was about -8C that night. It wasn't acceptable to be honest.

    • bombardier

      "arising issues…"??

      So you found my floater, but did you deal with my sinking battle-shit, eh?

  • J.W.

    It's appalling, the state in which the nation's elderly have to live these days.

    • Matty McBroide

      Broken Britain. This would never happen in Donegal.

  • Wolfson

    Who are St Edmunds?

    • err

      who are you?

    • Eddies

      We’re the ones who educated Georges Lemaître and provide the rowing Blues for the boat race. Who are you?

    • I'm from

      Eds and Wolfson is defnitely as shit as Ed's. Car Park college.

  • Eddies

    We’re the ones who educated Georges Lemaître and provide the rowing Blues for the boat race. Who are you?

  • YourMother WouldSay

    I don't know which lavatory you were using but the one I was using did not flush and was filled to the brim with fecal nastiness. St. Edmunds Launch Conspiracy? I think so. The sign was definitely missing when I and I would estimate 10-15 others used the facilities without a flush.

    • NotAnIdiot

      Either you're a liar or you broke into the locked toilets to use them… The toilets in the main building were locked and sign-posted as out of order. If you went to the ones not in the main building then it wasn't a water problem – it was a problem with you and your 10-15 others failing to grasp the concept of flushing a toilet…

    • Butters

      Of the two lavatories in the immediate vicinity of the CR both had signs directing you to fully functional toilets. Both were also obstructed, one with a sofa and the other with a pool cue.

      Members of the May Ball Committee sat by the functional toilets all night in order to ensure they were both accessible and of a acceptable level of cleanliness.

      Unless you and these fifteen others found yourself in the upstairs accomodation (clearly beyond the bounds of the party) or by the chapel. You must have ignored signs and instructions. In any case I find it odd that you and the fifteen others didn't mention anything to a member of bar staff or a committee member.

  • Jamie Crawford


  • Pun Man

    Shit story

  • Jamie Crawford

    4/10 not very well written

  • An Ed

    As a member of the afflicted college I feel grossly insulted by a headline which reads "Total Shit Ed's". While there is no denying that the situation caused a great deal of controversy, it is simply not acceptable that this newspaper, in particular Josh Dickens, pulverizes any sense of decency.

  • Poo Man


    • Le Dunnett

      Fuck off it was me, BIG POOING AND SHITTING D!!!!!

    • Le Dunnett

      Fuck off it was me

  • And you know you are

    Eddies – officially the shitiest college

    • Except


  • Mr Hanky…

    …will bring you lots of presents for that!

  • You missed the crux

    The article missed the whole scandal. The Ball launch party, inspite of the lack of convenience in the same building, went well. The real issue was the virtual incompetence of the hall staff to sort anything out over the weekend and the complete lack of concern shown till Monday morning. Indeed it's the college administration that are 'shit ed's', not the CR.

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