Cambridge Bombs In Booze Survey

New survey results show students at nearly every other uni drink more than the average Cambridge student.

While many Cantabs like to think they’re huge lads when it comes to drinking, a new survey has found Cambridge students drink significantly less than students at other unis.

We’re normally used to being number one when it comes to league tables, but placed Cambridge a dismal 51st out of 68 in terms of weekly alcohol consumption at university.

Despite notoriously drunken Cambridge traditions like swaps, the Wyverns’ Garden Party and Caesarian Sunday, the average Cambridge student’s weekly alcohol intake was found to be just 14.7 units – the equivalent of 10 VKs, 7 pints or a bottle and a half of wine.

President of Trinity drinking society The Cobblers, defended Cam’s record, telling The Tab: “I am currently drinking a £15.99 beverage in Lola Lo. It’s about quality not quantity.”

Second-year English student Grace Brown agreed, saying: “Even though Cambridge students don’t get pissed that often, when we do, we do it properly.”

But for some the result aren’t surprising. Third-year Tit Hall historian Kit Pyman told The Tab: “Clearly this study is 100% accurate, seeing as most people here are 100% shitlads.”

Leeds Metropolitan University topped the alcoholic charts, racking up an intimidating average of 26.7 units per week, 80% more than Cambridge’s consumption.

Tabs can take comfort from the fact that their result, tied with Warwick, trumped other top unis like Bristol, King’s College London, and, vitally, The Other Place, whose 13.8 units per week rank them 59th. Over 2,000 students responded to the survey.

Despite a low score nationwide, student drinking in Cambridge is still a big concern for college officials.

Earlier this month the Downing Master and Senior Tutor sent a warning to all students after a student nearly died from binging. Last May Week, St John’s also set up a ‘babysitting’ service, where sober students were paid up to £100 to care for lashed peers.

This latest survey follows Cambridge’s poor performance in studentbeans’ sex survey. Similar to the alcohol survey, Leeds Met students were found to be getting the 4th most action, while Cambridge slipped in at a disappointing 56th of 61.

  • Daily Mail Reader

    Well you all go to a fine educational establishment, so I think it's absolutely disgusting and astonishing that people binge drink.

  • Hmm

    Undergraduates at Cambridge: c. 12000. Average number of students responding to survey per university: 30.

    Bah, I need a drink.

    • Statistician

      This is not significant.

  • Primary Schooler

    26.7 is 80% more than 14.7
    14.7 is 45% less than 26.7

  • Clifton bizzle

    I don't know about you, but 14.7 units is my standard pre lash! and I go out twice a week because i'm such a lad!

  • Matt Gebbett

    What's that Kit, talking about yourself again?

    • Seeley Library

      Who is Matt Gebbett?

      • Alan Stevens

        Yes, who is this Matt Gebbett?

        • James Stirling


  • Would anyone

    …actually rather be at Leeds Met though?

  • Sympathetic drinker

    If I went to Leeds Met I'd try and drink the shame away too.

  • TPJ

    I often have pints with the U21 rugby team, and sometimes the LXs too!

  • Cambridge Irishman

    I drink 6.16 pints of Guinness each week. Pretty average really.

  • Saga

    As a university with a strong academic reputation, we're clearly going to have more than our fair share of people who don't drink anything each week, which of course is fine, but will skew the figures.

    I'd be more interested to see what the average alcohol consumption per student night out is at each uni.

  • Bored.

    Oh god, the shame of not being massive alcoholics! How sad we must all be.

    Personally, I don't give a shit how much people drink or not; it's a free country and you're welcome to drink as much or as little as you like. But to assign credibility on the basis of the heaviness of drinking? Pretty fucking sad, really.

    • agreed

      So glad I'm not the only one who thought that

    • big drinker

      how else can we judge who the laddiest person is?

      • Bored.

        They're normally the one with the dick on their head.

  • Debby Sunnett

    Is it a coincidence that I've graduated

    • Big Sebby Poo

      Toilet roll consumption has gone down too

  • I am a liar

    Pyman is a massive lad.

  • Cant-lad


  • TCSU Welfare Officer

    Somebody had to, and it might as well be me.

    Why does this article take the slant on this story that it does? As if we're somehow a worse student body because we don't drink as much as some others? Why didn't it present the story as 'Daily Mail proved incorrect – Cantabridgians not the worst culprits?'

    Presumably this comment qualifies me to be a 'ShitLad', but I'm fine with that. Bingeing is a problem – not mainly because it's bad for your health (though it blatantly is, we've all been there and this isn't intended as a sermon!), but because there's definitely a culture among many students, both in Cambridge and elsewhere, that pressures people to drink more than they actually want to, for fear of being seen as weak or a killjoy if they don't.

    Articles like this reinforce that pressure. Why can't people genuinely drink what they'd like to, rather than what Kieran Corcoran's interpretation of the drinking survey tells them they ought to aspire to?

    • somebody did

      Pretty sure 'Bored' covered this already. Most people agreed.

    • Kit Pyman

      I do indeed define you as a shitLAD.

    • Go Welfare

      Thank you for your good post, sir!

  • Consider the source

    Much as I love the Tab..

    This time it seems to me that the “Student Beans” site is regularly in the habit of pushing out any old tosh, masquerading as a “survey”, in the hope someone will pick up on it

    – just to get publicity for their own commercial website?

  • Nathan

    hi sam what you doing for lunch tomorrow, might be a late one cus of outing maybe 2:30 ish but i reckon that's when tom will be up anyway.

    • Sam

      Nah cant do it mate – my mum's visiting so i'm having lunch with her. Supper though? I can't eat shite buttery food today, Granta or summat similar?

      • Nathan

        So slept through completely, been burning the candle at both ends so needed the kip, bar later?

        • Sam

          Got a pool match first, but see you there afterwards

  • John Smiths

    "Despite notoriously drunken Cambridge traditions like swaps, the Wyverns’ Garden Party and Caesarian Sunday"

    Posh people that can't handle their drink getting wankered after 3 pints, not exactly a heavy rep.

    • Unnecessarily sarcy

      Posh people can't handle their drink… what an awesome, hilarious and factual point to have raised that is in no way just aggressive inverse snobbery.

  • John Smiths
  • Hytrices

    REAL lads are out getting shitfaced instead of filling in shit surveys.

  • 15.99??

    I'm glad the president Trinity cobblers showed what an embarrassing bunch of pit club wannabees his "drinking society" are.

  • Nav Dog

    Where did my party pad come in the survey?

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