Cambridge Bombs In Booze Survey

New survey results show students at nearly every other uni drink more than the average Cambridge student.

While many Cantabs like to think they’re huge lads when it comes to drinking, a new survey has found Cambridge students drink significantly less than students at other unis.

We’re normally used to being number one when it comes to league tables, but placed Cambridge a dismal 51st out of 68 in terms of weekly alcohol consumption at university.

Despite notoriously drunken Cambridge traditions like swaps, the Wyverns’ Garden Party and Caesarian Sunday, the average Cambridge student’s weekly alcohol intake was found to be just 14.7 units – the equivalent of 10 VKs, 7 pints or a bottle and a half of wine.

President of Trinity drinking society The Cobblers, defended Cam’s record, telling The Tab: “I am currently drinking a £15.99 beverage in Lola Lo. It’s about quality not quantity.”

Second-year English student Grace Brown agreed, saying: “Even though Cambridge students don’t get pissed that often, when we do, we do it properly.”

But for some the result aren’t surprising. Third-year Tit Hall historian Kit Pyman told The Tab: “Clearly this study is 100% accurate, seeing as most people here are 100% shitlads.”

Leeds Metropolitan University topped the alcoholic charts, racking up an intimidating average of 26.7 units per week, 80% more than Cambridge’s consumption.

Tabs can take comfort from the fact that their result, tied with Warwick, trumped other top unis like Bristol, King’s College London, and, vitally, The Other Place, whose 13.8 units per week rank them 59th. Over 2,000 students responded to the survey.

Despite a low score nationwide, student drinking in Cambridge is still a big concern for college officials.

Earlier this month the Downing Master and Senior Tutor sent a warning to all students after a student nearly died from binging. Last May Week, St John’s also set up a ‘babysitting’ service, where sober students were paid up to £100 to care for lashed peers.

This latest survey follows Cambridge’s poor performance in studentbeans’ sex survey. Similar to the alcohol survey, Leeds Met students were found to be getting the 4th most action, while Cambridge slipped in at a disappointing 56th of 61.

  • 15.99??

    I'm glad the president Trinity cobblers showed what an embarrassing bunch of pit club wannabees his "drinking society" are.

  • Nav Dog

    Where did my party pad come in the survey?

Get the best of The Tab on our app.

So long as anti-Semitism is dismissed, Cambridge cannot endorse the NUS

It’s not right that the voices of thousands of Jewish students across the country are playing second fiddle.

Do we really hate each other?

Are the haters really gonna hate hate hate?

The Cambridge Easter Term Bucket List

Finding the fun in the joyless.

, National Editor

A new study undermines one of Jeremy Hunt’s big arguments for changing junior doctor contracts

‘Extending services is not going to save any more lives’

I went to an outdoor gym and it made me feel like a caveman

You haven’t felt manly till you’ve flipped a truck tyre in Shoreditch

Justin Timberlake has just released the obligatory ‘song of the summer’

You’re going to really hate this in a few months

Oxford University will not expel Rhodes Must Fall founder

42,000 people called for his bursary to be revoked

, Assistant Editor

All the things you learn about life from your bang average comprehensive

Lunchtime detentions were a rite of passage

, Assistant Editor

Snapchatting your trip to the polling station is silly, self-absorbed and insignificant

It’s a day about something bigger, and you somehow managed to make it about yourself