The News From The Dark Blues

It’s not been a good week to be an Oxford student.

Everyone’s favourite political society – the Oxford University Conservative Association (OUCA) – have once again managed to attract national media attention to the debauched ongoings at their weekly ‘Port and Policy’ meetings.

Unfortunately, Courtney Love had not graced them with a repeat visit. Instead, a rather inebriated member was filmed singing Dashing through the Reich – which, for those unfamiliar with the ditty, features the charming lyrics “dashing through the Reich / in a black Mercedes Benz / killing lots of kike / ra ta ta ta ta.”

Of course, this is not OUCA’s first brush with notoriety. Just two years ago they were temporarily banned from using Oxford University in their title after a racist joke competition. They’re a truly lovely bunch.

You would have thought the university would be doing all it could to counter such an image, but apparently not. Trinity is the latest college to become caught up in an access scandal, having denied a former student the chance to take her year 11 pupils – from a school with 65% of children on free school meals – to an access event. Trinity is in the bottom five of Oxford colleges when it comes to accepting those from state schools.

Thankfully though, amongst the doom and gloom, some students have decided to take events into their own hands by joining moral philosopher, Toby Ord, in his Giving What We Can campaign. They pledged to donate as much as 10% of their lifetime income to charity. Unfortunately if any of them are English students, this is unlikely to amount to much.

A recent student paper investigation has revealed that English students, graduating since 2009, have the lowest average salary. One Wadhamite studying English responded: “I don’t think it’s really a surprise to anyone, I mean it’s kind of a given that the only real career that an English degree leads onto is alcoholism.

“I can’t imaging there are really a whole load of people studying literature in the hope of scooping up a job at Goldman Sachs. We do it because we’re too lazy to do PPE but not quite lazy enough to do History.”