Lax Girls Dispatch ‘fake-tanned, peroxide blonde’ Exeter

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Facebook Twitter

Blues continue 100 per cent record this season against a strong Exeter University 1st team. Blues and Kingfishers match reports and photos.

Exeter 6 – 15 Cambridge

A long post-Cindies trip to Devon did not stop the lax Blues from continuing their 100 per cent record this season against a strong Exeter University 1st team.

The Blues impressively rose to their first tough challenge of the campaign, beating what one team member described as the “fiesty, fake-tanned, peroxide blonde Exeter girls” by a margin of nine goals.

The game started messily with a significant number of referee calls going against Cambridge and both teams receiving yellow cards for dirty play.

By half time however, Cambridge had lifted their game to notch up a score of 7-3; last years captain Ellie Walshe having proved that size doesn’t matter by netting several classy goals.

Exeter came out for the second half fighting and the checks were coming hard and fast. Cambridge’s temporary loss of possession and some strong drives from the only Exeter girl capable of a press-up led to the score gap closing.

Some great saves from Cambridge goalie Roshni ‘Best-in-show’ and an ingenious shot deflection by Gen Gotla’s thumb prevented Exeter getting the upper hand. A penalty then sucessfully put away by Cambridge ‘it- girl’ and Tab fashion star Check Warner raised the score further.

Bus driver, photographer and head cheerleader Karl Davis was clearly impressed with the performance, remarking that he was “proud to be supporting the Cambridge lacrosse ladies” and is now well versed in all the Cambridge gossip from picking up on bus journey banter.

Karl added ominously: “‘having seen the girls with sticks in hand on the pitch- I would advise any Cambridge boys not to mess with them.”


Kingfishers 10 – 9 Oxford Brookes

Meanwhile, the Kingfishers (university seconds) defeated Oxford Brookes 10-9 at home, a warm-up for the real Oxford next week, whom they are meeting in BUCS.

With Brookes scoring the first goal it looked set to be a closer match than the lacrosse girls are currently used to.

However, they showed that they were definitely in the game with a quick return goal from Tab Deputy Editor Ellie Pithers, driving the ball left-handed through a startled Brookes defence.

A few panicked passes in attack led to some unnecessary turnovers for Brookes, however they failed to take advantage.

Punished for this, Amelia Duncanson took control of the situation and fired another goal into the back of the net. With a fair bit of ping ponging up and down the pitch each team scored like for like.

A beautiful assist from Ellie Jeffreys to Sam Davies, followed by another quickie from Jeffreys left the half time score at 6-4 Cambridge.

Returning onto the pitch, the Kingfishers were determined to keep their lead and show up the bitchy Brookes girls, who were attempting to rally themselves with cries about their victory over Oxford last week.

A well-worked goal on Brookes’ part, followed by another fast break, showed that they were very much still in the game and that Cambridge were going to have to up their ante if they were to avoid becoming the second team in Blue to succumb to their opposition’s skills. Which they did. Some superb double teams in the midfield, drove Brookes off the side line multiple times giving Cambridge the much needed turnovers which they managed to capitalize off again.

The star scorers of the match, Pithers, Davies and Duncanson all saw the ball into the back of the net again.

With two minutes to go, Brookes scored another, bringing the score to an excruciatingly close 10-9 t0 Cambridge.

A last drive on Brookes’ part lead to a nail-biting drive into the Cambridge defence, but a brilliant stop by new goalie Ruth was all that was required. The final whistle went, and the Kingfishers were secure.

The Blues next game is against Oxford in the BUCS league (Wednesday, 1.30 – see the Facebook event here). The Kingfisher’s face the Oxford 2nds away on the same day.

Facebook Twitter
  • lax

    “fiesty, fake-tanned, peroxide blonde Exeter girls”

    lucky these public school girls aren't bitchy then…

    • Lid

      Ironically true, if you are indeed, a Cam lax girl…

  • leon

    fiesty, fake-tanned, peroxide blonde Exeter girls, but yet much better looking than Cambridge lax girls.

    Ridiculous title: Jealousy is a sickness, get well soon bitches.

  • Little Boys

    Glad to see that you 'took control of the situation' but where's our cake? Jordan is eating his own tongue.

    • Ivor the Engine

      Soooooo hungry i could eat a norwegian spruce. non-drop of course

  • D T

    Armed with the description of Exeter as "fake-tanned" and "peroxide blonde", I am still none the wiser as to which side is which in the photos.

  • E to the D

    Flowers are in the post

  • King Schweffer

    Heard you had some support from pretty big names

  • The Flying Skitesman

    Hi. I cannot believe the Tab is donating so much space to the lax second team. Do people really care? I'm sure they are much more interested at how much of a big name I am.

  • Pingback: Cheap True Religion()

Heard something on campus?

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Heart throb Radnor at Union

Josh Radnor cements his fan base in Cambridge

By , Senior Tab reporter on

“Slum in the Cellars”: Cambridge charity group organises POVERTY SIMULATION at Clare

They deleted the event quickly afterwards

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Finn McRedmond Week 1: Haters gonna hate, and with good reason

FINN talks not giving a shit and uses a picture of Taylor Swift

By , Sheffield Editor of The Tab on

Sheffield Why the word Hun is over

U ok hun

By , Chief Reporter on

Stars of Hollyoaks: Where are they now?

OB even went back to uni

By , Features Editor on

A dieting and exercise app made me relapse into anorexia

Sarah only got better when a therapist finally convinced her to delete it from her phone

By , Tab reporter on

Durham Meet the Instafamous third year who gets paid to go on holiday by ASOS

If you haven’t got a five figure following, who even are you?

By , Chief Reporter on

Meet the stripper who pole dances on the London Underground

She didn’t even clean the poles first