Jesus May Ball

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Facebook Twitter

PHOEBE LUCKHURST: "A very reasonable ticket price, and fun abounding from every court, cloister, tree and marquee, Jesus May Ball was a fantastic evening."

Click for our coverage of Trinity and Clare.  

We called it “the booze cruise”. At about 11pm, the temperature dropping from “Arctic” to “colder than a witch’s teat”, we decided we’d hit every one of Jesus May Ball’s numerous alcoholic stop-off points in an effort to knit an alcohol jacket. There was even a proposed route, which was scrapped somewhere around stop-off point three (doubles galore, and as many glasses as you could nestle in the crooks of your limbs), ultimately forsaken in favour of crashing around in the Silent Disco. I’d lost my headphones by this point, but there was definitely music playing in my head. Too many doubles perhaps.

Food and drink was everywhere, and with the exception of a bizarre concoction called ‘Pussy’ which tasted like out-of-date Benylin, it was suitably delectable. Jesus’ beautiful Cloister court boasted sushi, cheeses, olives and champagne; elsewhere, people wandered around with popcorn, Eton mess, half-masticated lumps of marshmallow semi-coated in chocolate and doughnuts that I never managed to find but stared, rather distractingly, at anyone who had located a sugary corpuscle. Sorry. My only disappointment was the piece of pizza I waited forty minutes to obtain. It became a matter of pride: once I’d queued for twenty minutes, I wasn’t leaving until I had got my mitts on a greasy quarter, except that what I was presented with after such a prolonged period of standing (or rather, sinking, heel-first into the grass, a lot more painful than it sounds when your calf muscles are about as developed as an Ethiopian child’s) was less than an eighth of a pizza and had only one, solitary lump of canned tomato as a topping. I ate it anyway, and then went in search of more sushi, which, I can confirm was better than M&S’.

Turning to ents, Truly Medley Deeply were my highlight. They were fantastic, getting everyone on their feet to such an extent that a poor member of Jesus’ staff had to come and ask the girls to stop dancing so vigorously at the sides because they were ‘making heel dents in the sideboard’. Make sure you catch them at a May Ball near you. Slight logistical error sticking Mr Hudson and Sub Focus in the same slot; I watched the former until I’d heard Supernova (guaranteed crowd pleaser) and then rejoined the booze cruise – but by all accounts Sub Focus were brilliant, a friend telling me she’d hitched her dress into her knickers so she could dance better, which is nothing if not a testament to their performance.

Jesus is vast and beautiful; the Orchard and Fellows’ Garden looked particularly beautiful. In my mind, a circus is rather garish but there was nothing grotesque about the tasteful grand-scale fairy lights or vivid spotlights and even the rides (a carousel and a set of swings, the latter I declared repeatedly to be easily one of the highlights of my life, though that might have been the booze cruise talking) and the nomadic entertainment (clowns, performers on stilts) gave it the requisite dose of surreal rather than nightmarish.

A very reasonable ticket price, and fun abounding from every court, cloister, tree and marquee, Jesus May Ball was a fantastic evening.

Food and Drink:

Wow Factor:

Value for Money:

Star attraction: The swings and the magnificent carousel, straight out of Mary Poppins.

Biggest turn off: The pizza queue and its wares: a sliver of pizza is not worth forty minutes of agonising queueing.

Facebook Twitter
Heard something on campus?

By and on

Civil war: Resignations, infighting and plans to host Julian Assange push Union to breaking point

Assange has agreed to address the Union via video link on 11 November

By on

Cambridge’s most obscure societies*

We went beyond the clichéd ones (Tiddlywinks, anyone?) to find Cambridge’s most obscure societies. *(AKA ones that are a tiny bit niche and were also willing to speak to us. Which was not that many.)

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Louise Mensch: “I’m a feminist and I don’t give a fuck what you say”

“There are no safe spaces when I’m around.”

By , Features Editor on

Best person on Facebook this week

Netflix and chill is DEAD

By ,         on

VOTE: Who was the best dressed this week?

These people are killing it

By , Durham Editor of The Tab on

Durham Linguists are feckless posers who don’t know the meaning of a real degree

‘Ou est la gare?’

By , Senior Tab reporter on

Best clubbers of the week

You drink, we judge

By ,         on

Third years who found their housemate dead in his room are now being sued for unpaid rent

They were too traumatised to return