Jesus May Ball

By on

PHOEBE LUCKHURST: "A very reasonable ticket price, and fun abounding from every court, cloister, tree and marquee, Jesus May Ball was a fantastic evening."

Click for our coverage of Trinity and Clare.  

We called it “the booze cruise”. At about 11pm, the temperature dropping from “Arctic” to “colder than a witch’s teat”, we decided we’d hit every one of Jesus May Ball’s numerous alcoholic stop-off points in an effort to knit an alcohol jacket. There was even a proposed route, which was scrapped somewhere around stop-off point three (doubles galore, and as many glasses as you could nestle in the crooks of your limbs), ultimately forsaken in favour of crashing around in the Silent Disco. I’d lost my headphones by this point, but there was definitely music playing in my head. Too many doubles perhaps.

Food and drink was everywhere, and with the exception of a bizarre concoction called ‘Pussy’ which tasted like out-of-date Benylin, it was suitably delectable. Jesus’ beautiful Cloister court boasted sushi, cheeses, olives and champagne; elsewhere, people wandered around with popcorn, Eton mess, half-masticated lumps of marshmallow semi-coated in chocolate and doughnuts that I never managed to find but stared, rather distractingly, at anyone who had located a sugary corpuscle. Sorry. My only disappointment was the piece of pizza I waited forty minutes to obtain. It became a matter of pride: once I’d queued for twenty minutes, I wasn’t leaving until I had got my mitts on a greasy quarter, except that what I was presented with after such a prolonged period of standing (or rather, sinking, heel-first into the grass, a lot more painful than it sounds when your calf muscles are about as developed as an Ethiopian child’s) was less than an eighth of a pizza and had only one, solitary lump of canned tomato as a topping. I ate it anyway, and then went in search of more sushi, which, I can confirm was better than M&S’.

Turning to ents, Truly Medley Deeply were my highlight. They were fantastic, getting everyone on their feet to such an extent that a poor member of Jesus’ staff had to come and ask the girls to stop dancing so vigorously at the sides because they were ‘making heel dents in the sideboard’. Make sure you catch them at a May Ball near you. Slight logistical error sticking Mr Hudson and Sub Focus in the same slot; I watched the former until I’d heard Supernova (guaranteed crowd pleaser) and then rejoined the booze cruise – but by all accounts Sub Focus were brilliant, a friend telling me she’d hitched her dress into her knickers so she could dance better, which is nothing if not a testament to their performance.

Jesus is vast and beautiful; the Orchard and Fellows’ Garden looked particularly beautiful. In my mind, a circus is rather garish but there was nothing grotesque about the tasteful grand-scale fairy lights or vivid spotlights and even the rides (a carousel and a set of swings, the latter I declared repeatedly to be easily one of the highlights of my life, though that might have been the booze cruise talking) and the nomadic entertainment (clowns, performers on stilts) gave it the requisite dose of surreal rather than nightmarish.

A very reasonable ticket price, and fun abounding from every court, cloister, tree and marquee, Jesus May Ball was a fantastic evening.

Food and Drink:

Wow Factor:

Value for Money:

Star attraction: The swings and the magnificent carousel, straight out of Mary Poppins.

Biggest turn off: The pizza queue and its wares: a sliver of pizza is not worth forty minutes of agonising queueing.

Heard something newsworthy?

By and on

The mafia is opening its ranks

The Tab is giving out free CV points.

By ,         on

Tab writers: Where are they now?

They were the ones who insisted they’d stop writing when you stopped reading.

By on

REVIEW: 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche

5 lesbians. 1 quiche. What could go wrong? Almost everything, Dani Cugini discovers, in this hilarious play.

By , Chief Reporter on

The one that got away: An interview with Caggie Dunlop

She doesn’t even watch Made in Chelsea any more

By on

Getting paid for Instagram posts: How easy is it?

Lexi Harvey asks the social media starlets posting their freebies

By , Chief Reporter on

Taking a photo with Eddie Redmayne at work got me sacked

He was fired on his day off from All Saints for meeting his hero

By , Head of Marketing on

Revealed: Nottingham’s Andy Hoe is the best promoter in the UK

He got almost half of the overall vote

By , Deputy Editor on

I wore an ‘I love consent’ t-shirt on a night out

Consent is sexy

By , Contributing Editor on

We’re lying to ourselves about why we take Ketamine

It might be cool but it’s also really stupid