Robert Smith: Culture Vulture

As I write this my essay on the origins of the Royal Society remains resolutely unfinished. When I say unfinished I also mean unresearched. Unfortunately for me it’s due in tomorrow morning. Why am I telling you this? Only so you can appreciate the sacrifice made to bring you Culture Vulture this week. In hindsight, however, this is the same situation I’m in every week I just usually refrain from mentioning it in a column which has nothing to do with my academic life.

Let’s get back on topic. As I’m sure some overpaid Rough Guide writer has almost certainly said, Cambridge is a city of culture. It’s also a city of rampant depression and the consumption of VKs justified through irony but that’s beside the point. Walk past any gate or fence in Cambridge and you’ll see a swathe of A4 posters advertising all manner of edifying events, from readings of Darwin’s work set to the music of Vivaldi to rap battles between Doctors of Divinity (probably). Keep your eyes open and you can find some truly great stuff. If keeping your eyes open seems too much of an effort, however, read on and you can find out the best of the best of the coming week. It’s easier than looking at a gate and you’re less likely to get hit by a bike. Unless you’re a trendy prick reading this on your iPhone.

Art: The Shop is displaying new work from students next week, so head down between the 9th and the 13th. If this doesn’t take your fancy, they run a Life Drawing class every Friday. This is probably a good way to still see some nudity even if you can’t make that weeks Swap.

Food and Drink: Resident foodie Bayan Parvizi has just finished filming a new cookery show for Tab TV so stay tuned. For those too damn lazy to have any interest in preparing food, however, I have devised a simple game to keep you occupied. Ring Dominos Pizza, invent the most outlandish offer imaginable and claim you have a voucher backing it up. Points will be awarded for money saved (I’m sure some of their employees wouldn’t question a 90% off Voucher) and creativity. Post your results in the comments section or e-mail me at [email protected].

Music: It’s A-Happening at Kambar on Thursday is ideal for retro music fiends and will probably be a great place for phoney spotting (in tribute to the late great Salinger of course). Also the Tab's own James Surry is involved and has promised to have sex with me in the toilets if I plug it. Consider it plugged James, consider it plugged.

Film: This imagining of what the new Spiderman reboot would look like if directed by Wes Anderson had me shitting myself with glee. It’ll never happen unfortunately.

Television: Watch Christopher Hitchens ripping Catholicism a new one during BBC debate programme Intelligence Squared. It’s really very satisfying, unless of course you think that mystical Jewish zombie who could walk on water was kinda important.

Union: A rather quiet week at the Union really. Allison Richards is there on Tuesday. Kudos to anyone willing to throw a shoe at her. Not that she deserves it particularly; I’d just find it amusing.