Tweemo

I'm bringing Tweemo back. Not sure on the logic of the idea, since I don't know whether Tweemo existed in the first place. Check out urban dictionary to decipher the term: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tweemo – hardly helpful. We flirted with it for a term at school just because we were bored and liked the name, which was thought up (not actually; the obvious portmanteau had been coined some years before) by Dan Hitchens, who's just this guy who edits stuff for Varsity now and things. Like the futurists (we were pretentious back then) the Winchester school of Tweemo blossomed into an all-encompassing art-movement, its utter zenith – the Tweemo dinner, which achieved a yet more exceptional high when the Worcester-sauce-flavoured headless-teddy-bear-shaped treacle-tart was brought out. The only artwork the period produced was an alphabet chart covered in disturbing newspaper-cuttings, which we worked on for several months, and which looked something like this:

Tracy Emin, eat your heart out. She never made anything quite so vile. And so, to celebrate what in retrospect was clearly the nadir of my creative life, I am bringing Tweemo back. Mostly, actually, because I've just bought an exceptional 9-to-10-year-old's knitted jumper which perfectly embodies the spirit of the movement: childish, gaudy, and with short enough sleeves to allow easy access to the wrists…

Reconnect with your inner child and taint his innocence forever with a heavy dose of angsty depression. Draw literary inspiration from Dickens and Hardy, imbibe the grinding awfulness of urban life, and print yourself statement T-shirts with ''Done because we are too menny'' all over them. If you find it tasteless or maudlin, that's because it is. Fashion doesn't know the boundaries of taste. Unpack your childhood nightmares, pervert them, and bring me… a razor blade? Or a childlike knitted jumper. You decide.

Original artwork by 5th Chamber Studios
Model: Tiny Tim
Photography: Matthias and Smith projective designs
Location Scout: Hannah Copley