Oxford JCR Renamed Gryffindor


Students at the Other Place have caused a crisis by voting to rename Magdalen College JCR “Gryffindor.”

Students at the Other Place have caused a crisis by voting to rename Magdalen College JCR “Gryffindor.”

The motion to rechristen in honour of Harry Potter’s house at Hogwarts was passed this Sunday, at a general meeting of the Oxford College’s JCR.

Just six votes were cast in opposition to the curious proposal.

The initiative means that Magdalen JCR must be referred to Gryffindor in all official documents, although the proposition does not extend to renaming the College itself.

‘Gryffindor’ JCR President Laurence Mills is now obliged to write to three other Oxford Colleges, suggesting they change their names to the remaining Hogwarts houses.

He must also pen a letter to the President of College, recommending that he change his name to Dumbledore, and purchase a fully functional sorting hat.

The College is the only one in Oxford to have its own deer park.

1st year Politics, Philosophy and Economics student at Magdalen, Callum Adams-Carr told The Tab, “We were all voting yes as a joke, assuming there’d be fail safes, and now it turns out there aren’t, at least until next term. Oops.”

The motion was suggested by 3rd year Zoe Tyndall, “when drunk”, Adams-Carr explained. Tyndall’s other extracurricular activities include writing College ‘gossip rag’ and launching a bid to be elected as one of Oxford University Student Union’s NUS delegates.

This is the first time in Magdalen’s 550 year history that the JCR has been rechristened. However, the rename certainly proves claims on the College website that Magdalen has a “modern and progressive outlook.”

The story has already hit national press, though the amendment to the college’s Wikipedia entry made by Magdalen undergraduates was “taken down sharpish” according to Adams-Carr.

“The tutors are probably trying to hush it up”, he said.

However, student reactions to the name change were much more positive.

First-year Suzie Harrogate commented that she was “quite ecstatic about the whole situation” as she had “always wanted to go to Hogwarts.”

Third-year Daniel Waters informatively said, “I’d like to put my basilisk in your chamber of secrets.”

 

CAMBRIDGE HOGWARTS COLLEGES

 

John’s: Slytherin ‘Slytherin house values ambition, cunning, leadership and resourcefulness.’

Jesus: Gryffindor. ‘Gryffindor values courage, bravery, daring, nerve and chivalry.’ Enough said.

Pembroke: Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff values hard work, loyalty, tolerance, and fair play

Homerton: Ravenclaw – it’s just a bit shit really. Wikipedia claims that Ravenclaw values intelligence, but that might have to be looked over in this case.

 

  • Homertonandproud

    Clearly your columnist, in her eagerness to criticise Homerton, cannot actually spell Ravenclaw in the first place. A case of intelligence overlooked (not looked over) in favour of arrogance perhaps? Homertonians are known for their creativity and wit (not my words but the words of the Wikipedia article from which your columnist quotes); these are notably absent from this article. Then again your columnist is from Queens so this is hardly surprising.

    • Sim

      At least she hasn't posted her article twice.

      Chill. We all love Homerton. (Honest..)

      • Ken

        HOMERTON LOL

  • Colin Creevey

    surely homerton are hufflepuff? full of fucking morons.

  • Happy Homertonian

    Pretty offended about the Homerton comment, I must say. Anyone who thinks our college is shit has clearly never taken the time to visit us and see our beautiful Orchard, our homely (and majoritively en suite) accomadation and our lovely, modern library. We've got wonderful Porters, brilliant teaching staff, the friendliest students in Cambridge and our principal has a CBE.

    Yes, our formal is expensive, and yes you have to pass over the railway bridge to find us, but come and visit for yourself to see that Homertonians are in fact not "fucking morons" but fun, intelligent, friendly students who would never dream of making judgements about you based on your college. (Unless you come from John's)

    • Kate Pretty

      You are an embarrassment to Homerton. And also a fucking moron.

      • Jesus

        To be fair. You have to be pretty clever to make up a whole new word like 'majoritively' WAY TO GO HOMERTON.

        • Tory from Caius

          CBE? the best colleges have Knights or Lords as their masters; and it's 'accommodation' not 'accomation'.

          P.S. I rather do like homerton people…mainly because the ones I meet trek all the way into town and therefore are rather keen for a good time.

  • Jesus Homertonian

    I'm at Jesus, but wish I were at Homerton, where the people are much more friendly.

    I don't understand why people at the Tab think that it is ok to just try and stir up hate amongst the colleges at Cambridge.

  • The Truth

    Homerton is fucking crap. Everyone knows that. "Friendliest college in Cambridge" my arse. From a former Homerton student. kthxbai. x

  • jesus

    I love how jesus owns the tab. But to be fair, we probably should be gryffindor

  • caius fuckn rule

    homerton is awesome. best formal ive been to! stunning grounds

    ravenclaw is probably emma. i thought they have the reputation for being the smartest?

    and i know they author, jasmin. its been a while since she saw the light of day – what with her head so far up her own arse and all…

  • Jesusian

    Potter = Kinch
    Ron = Brown
    Hermione = Penny

    Draco = Rose

  • Guest

    Except, Pembroke should no way be Hufflepuff. It's too cool to be Hufflepuff. Make Homerton Hufflepuff and Selwyn Ravenclaw. So much more appropriate.

  • Caius09

    I think Caius should be Slytherin, having the snakes in the crest and all 🙂

  • Cantab

    Surely Hufflepuff is .. Clare ? Yellow and Black college colours, the Master is called Prof. Badger and its the college known as the "friendly college" … ?

  • Homertonian

    I got a 3rd

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