A lawyer and medic swapped lectures to see which was harder

Law is boring af


Doctors and lawyers are potentially the two most stereotypically middle-class professions in the world. The rivalry between medics and lawyers is therefore unshakable: we are in direct contention for the best holiday homes in Devon 20 years down the line.

The only thing we have in common is our workload. Spotting the other person’s books at the other end of the library table gives us hope someone else is struggling with the dilemma of choosing a career path which actually helps people or one which makes us a fuckton of cash.

But whose course is harder? Medics have too big of an ego to admit anyone is smarter than them. Lawyers are renowned for lying. There’s only one way to find out once and for all: swap lectures.

Ellie goes to a medicine lecture

11:20 Last night my medic flatmate Ewan and I agreed we would walk to the lecture together so that I wouldn’t get lost in the maze of St Michael’s Hill. Alas, Ewan is not dressed yet. He showed me his lecture handouts: apparently I will learn about hormones. I know what those are! I have those!

11:25 Ewan is still not dressed. I leave.

11:30 Panic over: I found Eleanor and Florrie, they’ve been working for hours in the Wills library. I am a) impressed they embrace mornings but b) smug they use the law library.

Pure fear

11:45 I am the first person here. I thought medics were supposed to be punctual? This must be why the NHS waiting list is so long.

11:50 As people start to come in they give me a double take. At first I thought it was because they think I’m really hot. They don’t. They just don’t know what I’m doing here.

12:02 A girl just stood up in front of the lecture hall and asked us if we wanted to buy some hummus. We are definitely in Bristol.

Cocky medics as per

12:04 Ewan arrives and from the side of the lecture shouts “YOU STAND OUT SO MUCH”. If this was ever an undercover journalistic mission, it’s over now.

12:05 I realise the reason he shouted is because I’m the only person in the room with a laptop. Everyone else has handouts. The lecturer walks in and I’m right in the middle of her line of sight with an illuminated Apple logo effectively acting as a spotlight. Fuck.

12:11 I understand everything so far: insulin and glucagon respond to blood glucose. Biology GSCE has done me proud. Medics pay for this? The lecturer did say this was an introductory lecture, but the fact first year medics are still having introductory lectures eight weeks in makes me question how difficult medicine really is.

12:12 The lecturer just apologised for not bringing her lightsaber. Mmmmkay.

12:14 STARWARS JUST FLASHED UP ON THE SCREEN. Is this film studies? What have I missed?

12:15 They’re talking about films because hormones can trigger an emotional response to romcoms, they promote the need for “closeness”. Romcoms just make me angry. This doesn’t seem like legit science.

12:16 I’m genuinely beginning to make notes. Law has broken me.

12:18 I start to look around the room to stop myself making notes. The building is pretty shit. Law has stained-glass windows and fountains and towers and chambers. Medicine just has crappy whiteboard markers and the occasional dead body.

12:29 Fuck. There’s maths.

12:30 Wait it’s not maths. It’s just a graph and I panicked.

12:34 I haven’t eaten yet, which was a mistake. I spent too long putting on makeup because I thought if I was going to embarrass myself and get kicked out of Bristol, I need to keep my backup plan of becoming a Victoria Secrets model alive. Fool.

12:38 My stomach is rumbling, shit shit shit. That girl selling hummus is in front of me. Can I communicate with her without being ridiculed?

12:39 Hummus girl is not responding to me staring at the back of her head.

12:41 The lecturer just joked about eating. No. She knows. HUMMUS GIRL HELP ME!

12:45 The lecturer just started playing a YouTube video. Are you serious? Law is 100 per cent harder than this bullshit.

12:47 The animation looks like something I drew on Paint in 2007.

It’s over. I’m decidedly underwhelmed. I knew most of that stuff. I mean, don’t examine me on it, but it was pretty straightforward. Bristol is supposed to be the most competitive medical school in the country: I call bullshit.

Eleanor goes to a Law lecture

13:45 I’m waiting to meet Ellie outside the Victoria Rooms though I’m frankly very disappointed this lecture isn’t in the Wills Memorial Building, I thought I’d finally get to see what it’s like in there. Even the medics have ventured out of St Michael’s Hill and have had a lecture in the Victoria Rooms (though admittedly the lecturer was so confused it wasn’t in LT1.4 that she forgot where to go and turned up late).

14:00 The lecturer didn’t even ask everyone to start the lecture, they all just went eerily silent exactly at 2pm. This is so weird, it’s like I’m in a cult meeting.

14:02 Everyone is spread out and sitting on their own or in pairs. I don’t like it. In our lectures, each group has their own claimed row and banter is flowing. In here, they all look sad.

14:03 The lecturer is called Michael and he’s a QC. Apparently that means he’s a really, really good lawyer… I’ll be the judge of that.

14:04 Am I meant to be listening to the content? It’s already boring.

14:05 Slightly disappointed no one is in a suit.

14:06 Ok I’m going to try and listen to this.

14:09 Where’s all the murder? This is just cases about shares fraud – and not cool fraud like The Wolf of Wall Street. I see no Leonardo DiCaprio in this lecture.

14:11 The windows in here are quite cool.

14:15 We’re sitting at the back so I can see everybody’s screen. One guy is on what looks like a dating site, the social life is clearly not buzzing in law. Desperate times call for desperate measures, my lonely, lonely friend.

It’s actually a really nice waistcoat, well done Michael

14:23 I think the lecturer is wearing a waistcoat. Day = made.

14:25 I actually managed to listen to one of the cases: man buys painting of Salisbury Cathedral, after being told it’s a Constable. He tries to sell it five years later but the buyer says it’s not by Constable. Shock horror. What can he do? Apparently nothing – he left it too long. Brutal. He would have been so happy with his painting, I feel so bad for him (that’s the empathy we’re trained to feel kicking in). No such empathy from the surrounding lawyers.

14:33 Where is the banter from the lecturer? There are no Star Wars jokes or Shrek clips. I’m confused, this is so different from medicine.

14:35 Also still reeling from the fact there weren’t any student notices at the start of the lecture. We always have someone selling tickets to medic events, getting us to sign up for something, or selling hummus. Get your shit together law students and do some extracurricular activities… or was it all lies on your personal statements?

14:41 What the fuck is happening? This is so boring.

14:42 Ellie has informed me what’s happening and apparently it’s a case where two judges came to different decisions for the same case. I bet one was bribed.

14:43 I think the lecturer tried to make some light banter about football?! It was received with silence from the law students. Maybe it’s not the right time to make a career change to become a comedian, Michael.

14:45 I’m impressed no one is asleep, as far as I can see.

14:46 When will this end?

14:49 The lecturer just said “good, this is the last slide”. I couldn’t agree more.

14:50 Apparently it’s over. Thank god.

Hats off to the lawyers for making it through those lectures but ultimately I think it’s clear they’ve made the wrong career choice.