We asked Bristol Uni lecturers why student satisfaction is so low

Bristol University has consistently ranked abysmally in terms of student satisfaction. Why is it so low when entry requirements and attainment is so high?

Are we all whining for no reason? Is this just another example of Bristol students being the most apathetic bunch of shits this world has ever known?

We got lecturers to tell us why they think we hate it so much here.

Neville Morley – Ancient History Professor

“Students are paying far more money so they believe they are entitled to far more. The reality is very different. We as lecturers don’t have that changed perspective and unfortunately things are never going to be perfect”.

Dr Fernando Cervantes – History Professor

“Because Bristol students are extremely critical. There are problems though, especially in history where the resources provided just aren’t enough”.

Don Rintoul – Economics School Manager

“I guess it’s because in a few cases in the university we accept mediocrity. This probably angers students”.

While some Uni officials were happy to talk to us, get a photo and provide answers, others were more ambiguous.

Dr Tim Cole, a History Lecturer told us to “ask students, not me.”

Dr Semper of Modern Languages was equally appalled. He said: “It bugs me as much as it bugs you.”

Modern Language professors denied there was a problem.

Modern Languages lecturers flat out denied that there was a problem at all. Mr Kew made a passionate case in the complete denial of fact.

“My students are 100% happy, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mr Andrea gave us consolation. “It’s not that bad, other universities are also unhappy.”

The man to save the day was Vice Chancellor Hugh Brady, man of the people. He roused us with rhetoric to rival Ed Miliband.

“You have nothing to fear. I’m going to find out this year, and I will change it.”