The library booths are where Brum’s hauntingly beautiful artwork is hidden

We’ve all been there, it’s 4pm and revision is getting too much. You begin starring at the graphitised board in front of you, unsurprised to find yourself surrounded by slightly deformed cocks, ‘inspirational’ quotes hopelessly aimed to stop you procrastinating and a couple of phone numbers offering you a cheeky quickie up on 5th floor. Remember these quotes have been there for years now, so that ‘loose slut’ who you think is wanting some fun, is now long gone and that ship has definitely sailed.

Turns out we’re all nothing then. Deep.

But the amount of things you begin to learn when you see these masterpieces of scribbling could actually prove more valuable than you initially thought. So whilst you were all getting ready for Fab on Saturday night, I was trailing all 5 floors of the library trying to understand what us Brum students have on our minds when taking a well deserved but all too regular break from revision.

Without a doubt third floor came out top with the highly rated originality. Rather than the generic ‘everything will be okay’ optimism , (probably written by some naïve first year drama student), third floor actually told the truth. ‘You have to do it for the sake of your parents’ was a much more brutal approach in forcing you to get  back to your revision, as hopeless as we all know it is.  Third floor students gloated their well earned struggle as they ‘finally got a power socket.’ Yes we acknowledge, envy and hate your achievement, but let’s face it – you probably came in at 9am anyway to nab that rare and much desired socket.

The fourth floor got down to the nitty-gritty stuff we all love to add to. The cock size survey was an eye opener, with a size range likely to boost the average man’s ego. Still, some maturity was shown by 4th floor, with an election poll in favour for Labour to win in 2015. Yet this was short lived, with ‘John Cena’ being scrawled right across it.

will it? really?

Considering we only have a few months left with our beloved library, or at least only a few months until the University quietly push back the completion date of the new one, let’s make sure we all add to Brum’s best artwork before it all sinks to the ground anyway.  Whether you decide to set your own essay title, add to the debate over God’s omniscience, engage in some subject specific banter or draw a mythical sex scene – you do whatever you have to do to make yourself that little bit more rebellious.

Shock.

P.S – fun fact from 5th floor: Joe was there when Maggie Thatcher died. Thanks Joe.