Yoko’s is categorically the worst part of a night out

Something about it brings out the dickhead in people

Aber has an utterly unique night life. Between the sheer variety of pubs, the cheap drinks, and the general friendly atmosphere there’s nothing to dislike. That is, until it hits 1am and becomes Yoko’s time.

Before you even get into Yoko’s, the experience is poor. If you didn’t get a stamp earlier in the night then you’ll have to queue. You’ll probably be there a good half an hour, sandwiched between a smoker and someone who could throw up on you any second.

Once you manage to get in, you’re faced with a choice. Find a spot, or get a drink? Honestly you’re lucky if you manage either. Trying to find a space with your mates on the dance floor means elbowing your way through at least a couple of sports societies. If you want a drink? Guess what, the dancefloor is the queue to the bar, so you’ll be waiting a good half hour. And for what? A shitty VK?

The chances are you’ll be sober by the time you get there.

Is it really worth waiting 30 minutes for this?

Perhaps it’s not just how dire a place it is, but there’s something about Yoko’s that just brings out the dickhead in people. If there’s going to be a fight during a night out, there’s a good chance it’s going to happen here.

Not to mention the groping and shoving that everyone just accepts as part of the Yoko’s experience. The same people who were quite jolly in Harry’s and Harley’s go from Jeckyll to Hyde the moment they walk through the door.

If you’re a smoker, Yoko’s is just about the worst place to be. The street outside is the ‘smoking area’, and it’s pot luck how long you have to queue to get back inside. For every fag you have, there’ll be two people trying to bum one off you. Lend out a lighter? You’ll never see it again.

Obviously taken early,they managed to get a drink

The problem is, Yoko’s is just about the only option if you want a dance. Angel may have the best kept secret in Aber with its backbar, but that’s not always open and often pretty niche with the music.

Pier Pressure has the entry fee which is somehow enough to put people off, often making for a dire experience. But I’ll take niche music that I’m not particularly into, or a somewhat empty club, over Yoko’s.

That’s not to say you can’t have a good time in Yoko’s – hell, I’ve had some amazing nights there and I’m literally bitching about how much I dislike Yoko’s – but those are few and far between. For every banging night with good music there’ll be half a dozen shit ones you refuse to remember.

So if you need me, I’ll be in the Angel.

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