How to get served first at a bar in Aber, by an Aber barman

We’ve all been queuing for a drink at Yokos, Pier, Academy or any other pub in Aber and moaned: “Oh God, this is taking ages.”

If so, then you’ve probably just been blacklisted by the bartender and might as well stand at the back of the queue for the rest of the night. That’s because bartenders are the real heroes on a night out – no matter how long it takes for them to serve you. Whether they’re pulling pints or dishing out Sambuca’s, bartenders always make mental notes of who not to serve next for one reason or another. 

Here’s how you can increase your chances of getting served first, by the ones behind the bar.

Always have enough money on you

This is a big one, if at any point you come to the bar and say ‘a double vodka and coke please good sir’, the bartender is quite obviously going to make it and ask you for some money, therefore there is absolutely no reason for surprise upon hearing ‘that’ll be £3.80 please’. Just pay for the drink and if you have no money, then you most definitely have been put on the bartender’s blacklist for the night.

Don’t compare bar prices out loud

On the topic of money again, if a double vodka and coke costs £3.80, then that’s how much it costs. What you really don’t want to do is say “oh, but it’s only £3.50 over the road. If you say this you’re likely to be told: “well go buy a drink from over the road then.”

Just because Aber has 52 pubs/bars, doesn’t mean you can compare all the prices between them.

Pay with cash

While some bars have card machines, others may not. Depending on whether the pub you are in has one or not, when it comes to buying drinks always just have cash. You probably complain at just how long the queue on a night out in Harry’s? Well the truth is that the Rugby, Hockey, Football, Netball and even Korfeball and Waterpolo have driven their socials through to Harry’s and held everyone else up because they want to buy a couple of pints with a card.

It takes so long, and it’s so much easier for everyone concerned to take cash on a night out anyway.

Don’t try to show off in front of your mates

Don’t be the person who goes to hand over a note but thinks it’s hilarious to keep a hold of it and make the bartender fight for it. You may look cool for about 20 seconds while you wait for your change, but you won’t be getting served again in a hurry. Take it tha you’ll be at the back of the queue for the rest of the night.

No one likes this guy

Be respectable at the bar

Everyone was brought up by their mums and dads to at the very least say please and thank you. Even if you came from a scummy side street in an over crowded city, your crack den mother still was certain to raise you to say please and thank you. So why is it that bartenders are berated all night with “Oi, a pint of Carling mate”. No, you’re not friends with them, they are working and you are just being very rude.

Understand there is a queue and let it naturally bring you forward

Simple this one really. There’s a queue and you’re British. You know how they work when you’re sober so why do you forget when you’re two beers in? Just because you really quickly got to the front, doesn’t mean you’re now gods own gift. The two people you pushed through, now behind you, will get served before you.

Always have your I.D. ready

Now unless you look over 25, you will certainly be ID’d. If you look over 25 but younger than about 50, you probably will still be asked for ID. If the bouncer ID’d you on the door, and the bartender asks to see your ID again at the bar, just show them, they dont care how many people you showed on the way in, or if your nan on the phone can vouch for how old you are.

No ID, no alcohol. It’s the law and your mild annoyance is nothing compared to what I would feel if I lost my job because of you.

For some delicious WiffWaff cocktails, you’re going to need some ID

Keep your problems to yourself

A bartender may be stuck behind a bar, but we’re here to pour drinks – not to listen to you pour your heart out hour after painful hour.

If you come up to the bar, ask for a pint of Grolsch perhaps, the bartender does not want to hear about how hard life is as you cry into your pint in the corner of the bar. Everyone else trying not to lock eyes with you while waiting for a pint – including us.

If you’re really sad you should just go home anyway.

Know what drink you want

If you’re in a queue, and you complain about the wait, you finally get to the front and then turn around and say “I don’t know what I want”, you’d better make sure you get a really big drink. Bartenders hate this and if you do that you just wont be served again all night unless there is literally no one else at the bar.

Similarly if you ask what shots there are,the answer is the same regardless of which pub you are in: the same as every where else.

Just go home please buddy…

Recognise that licences are the law and can’t be broken for you

A number one method to not getting served the next time you come in is to argue with the barstaff to pour you another drink after last orders have been called. It never has happened and never will happen because that’s how you lose a job. It’s lights up in the Angel at 4am, do you really want another Woods rum and coke? No. Now get out and let the bartenders clean up in peace.

If you like the service, give us a tip

The best way to get served quickly is to tip the the bartender. Even if its 20p it’s better than nothing, but a smile, some light conversation and a small tip will definitely get you spotted in the queue at the bar next time.