What to wear to St Andy’s ball

Bring a hipflask

| UPDATED

It’s that time of the year again, and in just a few days the St. Andrew’s Ball (and the no doubt monumental carnage and raging hangover that ensues) shall be upon us.

GUYS

While the Black Tie dress code might limit your overall outfit options significantly, there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t easily set yourself apart from the rest of the crowd by wearing it right.

Kilt

The kilt is not only your easiest option, but given the fact that we’re in Scotland and it’s St Andrew’s day, probably the most appropriate too.

It’s pretty damn hard to get a kilt wrong considering they fit every piece for you.

But if you go for the bow tie option, add a bit of flair with a self-tie bow tie and a dress shirt (winged collar, dress front with studs/ covered buttons and double cuffs).

Tying a bow tie yourself takes a decent bit of practice and a lot of swearing, but once you nail it the difference is huge. Top it off by asking for the most extravagant sporran they have and you’re sorted.

Strong

Tuxedo

Get it right and you’ll look like a total baller, but get it wrong and you’ll look less than average.

The main problem most people have with tuxedos is getting the fit right, which means hiring one can be risky.

 

In terms of how good you’ll look for the price, hiring a kilt or some trews will most likely top a tux, but if you can get one that doesn’t make you look like David Byrne then go right ahead.

He can pull it off, you can’t

Since it’s a Scottish affair add as much tartan as humanly possible: pocket square, bow tie, scarf, underwear, jacket, whatever floats your boat.

If you want to achieve maximum baller status, get yourself a velvet jacket. Dripping in suavity, you can get great ones online from vintage shops or ebay, on the cheap.

If you get one in good condition it’ll last a very long time (though I hear spew is particularly hard to clean off velvet, so maybe go easy with the table wine) and you’ll be swamped with compliments all night.

Trews

Trews are extremely popular with ball-goers, and since they’re a close cousin to the kilt, most of the same tips apply.

If you do want to step it up, add a tartan bow tie, some Gordon Gekko braces and, if you’re really looking to show how many fucks you don’t give, the loudest, most hideous shirt you can find.

How to do it Right

GIRLS

Unfortunately for you the possibilities are almost endless, making your choice very difficult.

As long as you know where to look though, you can save yourself a lot of hassle and last minute outfit changes.

“Not only am I going to try on 50 outfits an hour before the ball, i’ll take 5342 selfies for each one”

 Capes

They’re everywhere at the moment.

And of course warm and roomy enough to hide the chips you may or may not cry into on the way home after losing your golden slipper…

And just imagine how majestic you’ll look with one floating behind you as you walk through the prevailing Aberdeen wind.

Something like this…

Tuxedo Jacket

It can also work well to sharpen up the flashiness and decoration of some formal dresses.

Halter or high necked dresses

They’ve made a comeback and are gracing red carpets at the moment:

They look elegant and can draw attention to a statement necklace, and create body shape.

Try something different

Crop tops and skirts

This option is flexible and can make your outfit unique, if you mix different textures and patterns.

Flexible does not mean you should arrive full stomach forward and parading your most formal and appropriate belly ring, a small amount of flesh on show is fine.

If you really want to push the boat out and be truly memorable, why not go for something ethnic? It’s hard to do wrong and you’ll really stand out from the crowd. This goes for guys too, it works well over both genders.

Fur and sequins

As it’s coming close to Christmas, winter parties are on the horizon.

They can make you look like a glittering and striking star.

But pushed too far you could end up looking like the love child of Rudolph and a Christmas bauble, so check with an honest friend before you head out.

So wrong it’s almost right

For some further etiquette tips, look to the Victorians for such gems as: ‘Noisy talking and boisterous laughter in a ballroom are contrary to the rules of etiquette.’

Yeah, right.