Look at these ‘clear knee mom jeans’ from Topshop and tell me that God isn’t dead

If fashion is a crime then lock me up and make me wear these jeans as a prison jumpsuit because they’re awful

The fashion world is a funny old place, isn’t it? Where ugly is beautiful and horrible things created by children cost thousands of pounds and crop tops look like this and apparently, because we are living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, these jeans exist.

Topshop has produced these jeans for us, these futuristic jeans that your mom would wear only if your mom existed in some sort of alternate Mad Max reality where she has to fight other concubines to the death in the desert. These jeans which will cost 49 of your English pounds (95 of your American dollars) for a pair of jeans with at least a third of the material missing. These jeans which are already out of stock in W24L30 size, meaning they’ve already been purchased and legitimately worn by fashionable, teeny tiny women.

The internet – like myself – is divided over these jeans.

On the one hand, OK, maybe this is high fa$hun. Maybe this is a sartorial take that my small basic mind just can’t drink in. Maybe when we’re taking the piss out of them we just sound like our unstylish-drinks-boxed-wine aunties, who laugh at ripped jeans during family parties (“Haha yes Aunt Irene I bought them like this! Haha yes I paid money for them! Haha yes you could repair them for me! Haha remember when you ruined the economy now I can’t buy a house!”).

On the other hand: they are fucking ugly jeans and they deserve the ridicule piled upon them.

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