We could have had it aaaaaallllll, clubbers of the weeeeeeeeek

Hello, it’s me, I was wondering if you’d like to see the clubbers of the week?


Two Adele puns. Two. That’s not only more than there should be in any article ever, but it’s more than you deserve.

Anyway, since I’ve spunked my two funniest before the intro’s even over, we may as well get this over with. Here are the best clubbers in the UK this week.

And the Oscar for best hair and makeup goes to…

I mean basically

Anyone else here got an iPhone looool

loooool join the club loool

When the self checkout machine asks you if you have a Nectar card

Yes

What I think I look like in selfies

What I actually look like in selfies

I don’t remember Qui-Gon ever doing that to Darth Maul???

You and I must have watched a very different movie

All the white boys with a short back and sides MAKE SOME NOOOISE

The roof, the roof, the roof is intact

When you’re really, really good at counting how many girls are standing next to you

And they said private school was a waste of money

There is absolutely nothing problematic about this photo

NOTHING

Nothing to see here, just your average Leeds University student

Move along now

Ah, Ryan Gosling accepting an Oscar from Ryan Gosling while Ryan Gosling looks on

#OscarsSoWhite

These men want to sell you some moonshine for a couple of bucks

Pops said he wanted them to shift it lickety-split

What’s that, Lassie? There’s a vintage kilo sale?

I’ll be right back

When your mates tell you Slash from Guns N’ Roses is a vegetable

You’re the ones who ruined the theme

When your mum texts you saying ‘you boys better be home by midnight’

Fuk the rulez

When your tiny imaginary friend starts choking

There there Kenneth

When you’ve literally never encountered any kind of barrier before

We don’t have these in Shropshire

When you find out your microbrewed IPA has been filtered through isinglass

THE HORROR

You, my friend! You must come viz us on our expedition to ze Arctic!

Come now – we have not a moment to lose